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Monday, March 2, 2009

Muslimah Social Lives....avoid the dunya


As muslimahs in the West, some of us are stuck between two worlds, in a sense. We live in a predominantly non-muslim society that enjoys many of the things which are forbidden in Islam. Dating, partying, drinking, doing drugs, fornication, skimpy clothing, explicit lyrics in music, cursing and overall bad behavior has become the norm here in the west. Those of us who were raised in an Islamic household find ourselves loving our religion and knowing the truth, yet reverting to and enjoying the easy, fast life in the West. Those of us who are converts to Islam may find the transition difficult at first and difficult to maintain.

As muslim girls and women, we have even greater expectations then our male counterparts to be the consummate muslim woman in every facet of the word. Meaning we are expected to look, smell, and in some instances even sound like the perfect muslim woman. What I mean by looking like is, of course, the Islamic dress. By smell, I mean some people saying that muslimahs are not allowed to wear perfumes. By sound I am talking about some people's perspective on whether or not a woman should speak quietly or even disguise their voices around men.

When we put all of these things in mind, we now have a woman who has the knowledge of how she should behave in society and how she may desire to behave. Some feel as though as long as they are wearing their khimars that they should be able to go anywhere they please. Also, they feel as though they can date as long as there is no fornication involved and wear wigs on their heads as long as their heads are covered. The prophet(saw) said:




"Allah (swt) has cursed both the Wasilah and the Mustawsilah (meaning the wig-wearer and the wig-maker.


So " covering" your hair with a wig is not an option. Wearing your khimar is not only a source of protection it is also a constant reminder. If you are considering going somewhere are being around people were you can't wear your khimar because it wouldn't be appropriate, then these are the places and people you should avoid.

It's important that we try our best not to get caught up in the dunya. While the clubs and partying may seem tempting, they ultimately lead us further and further away from Allah(swt). Our time in this world is very limited and we will be faced with many tests. The pleasures of the dunya will be very tempting because of the way our society portrays them. In television shows, commercials and magazines these short term pleasures are portrayed as glamorous and the women leading these lives seem happy. This sort of lifestyle will not provide you lasting rewards. Shaytan tempts us with this lifestyle and Allah(swt) has warned us:





" Follow not the footsteps of Shaytan. Verily! He is to you a plain enemy" in Surah
2:208.


Consider options available to you such as hanging out with your girlfriends, going to the movies, going out to eat and attending Islamic functions. There are many outlets for what we may call "halal socializing" which can be found through the Muslim Student Association http://www.msanational.org/ at your local college or university. Also, there is the Islamic Circle Of North America http://www.icna.org/ and The Islamic Society of North America (I.S.N.A.) http://www.isna.net/. Many of our local masjids have plenty of activities for young muslims. Try to be more involved with masjids in your area. This is a great way to meet new muslims in your age range with similar interests. In my opinion I find it is best to socialize with other muslims as opposed to non-muslims for the simple reason that you won't be as tempted to do un-islamic things when you are with muslim peers. In the Qur'an it states:



"O you who believe! Do not take for intimate friends from among others than your
own people, they do not fall short of inflicting loss upon you; they love what distresses you; vehement hatred has already appeared from out of their mouths,
and what their breasts conceal is greater still; indeed, We have made the
communications clear to you, if you will understand." Surah 3:118





Once again sisters, Allah knows best and if we make a sincere effort to follow by the examples of the Sahabiah (rah), He will be pleased with us, inshallah.



Asalaamu alaikum
Najwa & Nadira






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4 comments:

  1. salaams ladies.
    Y’all got me thinking, which insha'allah is the entire point of this blog so alhamdullilah…so not gonna lie, I have defiantly rocked the wig as of late, only on Halloween (who's Islamic permissibility might be questioned to begin with, but…) However then I read you post and felt the need to research wigs, especially since I didn’t see who had narrated the hadith on your posting. It sparked an interesting online search, but I also found a very wide difference of opinion on the subject, such as,

    The scholars agree that if the extensions or wig is made from human hair then they are not permissible to wear.

    If the hair comes from non-human sources then the scholars differed over the permissibility of wearing such things :

    The Hanafi’s considered it permissible as related on behalf of Abu Yusuf

    The Maliki’s considered it forbidden

    The Shafi’s allowed it but only for a woman’s husband

    The Hanabalis took the same opinion as the Malikis except there is another statement, attributed to them, that considers it disliked or makru, but not haram.

    If the source of the hair is impure then the scholars agreed that it is forbidden

    If the hair is synthetic then the scholars considered it permissible, and if a woman is married, it should be done after seeking her husband’s council as long as the goal is beautification, ease of lifestyle; not trickery or false identification. This is because the reason behind this prohibition is forgery and trickery.

    ...Of course one of the beauties of Islam is that there are differences of interpretation, and the above also came from an internet source and so that too cannot be authenticated fully, but it got me thinking about wigs in a different context…here’s how…

    ..In Turkey for example owing to strict laws of secularism within government which filters down to state buildings and all state and country funded institutions women are forbidden from wearing hijab--thus preventing them from participating in most aspects of civil society….interestingly enough if you enter a public hospital in Turkey you will see in a very obvious way that there are hundreds of women, Muslim women who in every other part of their lives are muhajjaba, who are wearing wigs (and you can tell they are wigs so as not to be confused with their real hair), as otherwise they would be prevented from practicing medicine, nursing, etc….the same is the case in almost every other context from university campuses to radio and television stations.

    …so your post definitely got me thinking in a much larger sense about the intersection of both religion and women’s rights and access to civil society within our contemporary context…and you thought you were only talking about wigs, huh?...

    salaams.

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  2. okay, im going to be really honest here. I've seriously been contemplating taking off the hijab, but reading this has seriously changed my mind. I've been wearing full hijab for 5 years. thank you so so much, may allah reward you.

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  3. T, I definitely agree with you on the varying ideas and opinions on this subject, and me and Nadira have both rocked a wig or a weave before but never did I think I was doing the right thing, lol. However, as for the wig in itself, I feel as though using common sense is very important with these things because if we can all agree that a hijab is obligatory on every Muslimah then one may ask herself: Is this something that was done by the Sahabiat (wives of the prohet Muhammad)? If the answer is no, then I would say that that thing is most likely un-Islamic... And as for the women who take off ther hijab due "societal discord" and misunderstanding or fear of someone from a different culture's criticism, then Allah knows best but I will always try to refer to the ways of the women who came before us. Their trials were way more dire than ours... ;-)

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  4. Also........

    not sure of the exact hadith but if your not sure about something its best to avoid it, so happy this blog is inspiring sisters to think and do some research, thats why we are doing this

    Inesa I'm so happy you've decided to continue wearing hijab, may Allah make it easy for you-ameen = )

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