The Muslimah in the Mirror...

Many Muslimahs are soooo judgmental about one another. Usually, I have found that it is on such a superficial nature. It is usually based on opinions of hijab (or lack thereof), whether a sister plucks her eyebrows, wears makeup, wears nail polish, etc. Why do we not look at any other side of the coin? Many of us who are placing judgment on others are the same ones who don't know how to greet a house guest or how to associate with neighbors. These are the same people who only know one surah or don't know how to make wudu correctly. It has become an epidemic! We have to remember that we need to look within our own hearts before we even think about putting another woman in her place...

So, what do you think about this? Do you find that we judge each other on outerward appearance only? What is the obsession with the superficial?

As Salaamu Alaikum

Najwa

If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all

"If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all", I'm sure this is something that we have all heard before. The important question is do we realize how important it is and what it means to guard our tongues?

“Not a word is said except that there is a watcher by him ready to record it” (Quran 50:18). Every single thing that we say is recorded whether it's good or bad. On the day of judgment when we go before Allah(swt) the angels will read EVERYTHING that we said from the book of deeds. It can be so easy to get caught up in the day to day conversations we have, so much so that we don't realize how important what we say is or how it can effect us. When you say something negative about someone, or something that is not true we will be held accountable for it. We will end up wishing that we had never said it.

The Prophet(saw) said, “Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day should speak good or keep silent”(Bukhari and Muslim).

Another hadith states "The best of all Muslims is one whose tongue and hand others are protected from(Muslim). Are we doing our best every chance we get to make sure that we are among the best? When we are around people talking about someone else do we join in or laugh along with them? Even if we don't say anything it's just the same as condoning it! If you hear someone talking about someone else don't be noisy and participate. Would you want someone to backbite and slander you? How would you feel if you knew that people were talking about you behind your back or spreading your business with others?

We also have to mindful of what type of language we use when we speak. The Prophet(saw) was not one who would abuse (others) or say obscene words, or curse (others)..."(Bukhari).

Things to keep in mind:

Make sure that we are concerning ourselves with the enjoining the good and forbidding the evil

Don't backbite, don't slander, don't use foul language and stop being nosey!!!

Asalaamu alaikum

Nadira & Najwa

Friends.....How many of us have them?

Who we choose as our friends/companions is a serious decision that is not to be taken lightly. We should want friends who are on the same path as us and want the same things out of life that we do. Our ultimate goal is to do things fisibilillah(for the sake of Allah). It is our responsibly to make sure that we are careful with who we take as our close friends.

Most importantly we should make sure that our friends/companions are other Muslimahs. You want a friend who encourages the good(halal/permissible) and discourages the bad(haraam/forbidden). Another Muslimah will remind you when it's time to offer salah, encourage proper hijab, help you in constantly remembering Allah(swt). When we are around other Muslimahs we consistently dhikr(remember) Allah(swt). For example how we greet each other, when we sneeze, yawn, begin to do something. etc. These are just a few of the many benefits of having other Muslimahs as our close friends.

You may have been reading this and thinking to yourself "All my friends are Muslimahs so I don't have anything to worry about". In a perfect world this would be true but we also have to make sure that our fellow Muslimahs are on the same page with us as well. In a friendship you want someone who will pull you up not push down. A friend will encourage you to go to Islamic classes on the weekend instead of letting your time waste away on the dunya(worldly matters). A friend will help you find a husband the halal way, not encourage you to date/have a boyfriend. A friend will not talk about her friends(backbiting), she will remind you that when you backbite another it's like eating the flesh of your sister. The point is they will be a good influence on you and help you lead a successful life in this world that will insha' Allah lead to a successful life in the akhira.

Below is proof(daleel) from Quran and Hadith on the importance of being careful who we choose as our companions.

And the believers, men and women, are protecting friends of one another, they enjoin the right and forbid the wrong (9:71)

Allah the Exalted says in the Quran: "And (remember) the Day when the wrong-doer will bite his hands and say: Woe to me! Would that I had taken a path with the Messenger. Woe to me! If only I had not taken so- and- so as a friend! He has led me astray from this Reminder (the Quran) after it had come to me." [25:27-29].

O you who believe! Avoid much suspicion, in deeds some suspicions are sins. And spy not neither backbite one another. Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? You would hate it (so hate backbiting). And fear God, verily, God is the one who accepts repentance, Most Merciful. (49: 12)

The Prophet(saw) said: "Man is influenced by the faith of his friends. Therefore, be careful of whom you associate with." - Abu Dawood & Tirmidhi

In another Hadith, Prophet(saw) said: "The example of a good companion and a bad companion is like that of the seller of musk, and the one who blows the blacksmith's bellows (respectively). So as for the seller of musk then either he will grant you some, or you buy some from him, or at least you enjoy a pleasant smell from him. As for the one who blows the blacksmith's bellows then either he will burn your clothes or you will get an offensive smell from him." - Bukhari & Muslim

The Prophet(saw) said: "Help your brother whether he is a wrong-doer or is wronged". A man enquired: 'O Messenger of Allah (saw) , I may help him when he is wronged, but how can I help him when he is a wrong-doer? ' The Prophet (saw) said ' You can prevent him from wrong-doing. That will be your help to him" - Bukhari & Muslim

May Allah(swt) bless us all with companions who help us stay on the siratul mustaqeem(the straight path) - ameen

Anything we have said right is from Allah(swt) anything we have said wrong is from us.

Love for the sake of Allah

Asalaamu alaikum

Nadira & Najwa

Story of the Week!!! The Triple Filter Test

In ancient Greece , Socrates was reputed to hold knowledge in high esteem. One day an acquaintance met the great philosopher and said,

"Do you know what I just heard about your friend?"

"Hold on a minute," Socrates replied. "Before telling me anything, I'd like you to pass a little test. It's called the Triple Filter Test."

"Triple filter?"

"That's right," Socrates continued. "Before you talk to me about my friend, it might be a good idea to take a moment and filter what you're going to say. That's why I call it the triple filter test.The first filter is TRUTH. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?"

"No," the man said, "actually I just heard about it and..."

"All right," said Socrates. "So you don't really know if it's true or not. Now let's try the second filter, the filter of GOODNESS. Is what you are about to tell me about my friend something good?"

"No, on the contrary..."

"So," Socrates continued, "you want to tell me something bad about him, but you're not certain it's true. You may still pass the test though, because there's one filter left: the filter of USEFULNESS. Is what you want to tell me about my friend going to be useful to me?"

"No, not really."

Socrates Replied;"Well," "if what you want to tell me is neither true nor good nor even useful, why tell it to me at all?"

Advice from our beloved prophet (peace be upon him) to mankind…..Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him said;

"Do you know what is backbiting?'They (the Companions) said: 'Allah and His Messenger (peace be upon him) know best.Thereupon he (the Prophet (peace be upon him)) said:

"Backbiting implies your talking about your brother (behind his back) in a manner which he does not like.'It was said to him: 'What is your opinion about this that if I actually find (that failing) in my brother which I made a mention of?'He (peace be upon him) said: 'If (that failing) is actually found (in him) what you assert, you in fact backbited (gheebah) him, and if that is not in him it is a slander!" (Nameemah)Sahih Muslim Hadith Hadith 6265 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah

Insha'Allah, this serves as a reminder for all of us to be mindful of the words that we speak. We should always use caution before we say or repeat anything. If you have nothing good to say, keep your mouth shut! We do not want to be amongst the backbiters on the Day of Judgment. May Allah save us from the bad in this life and from the bad in the hereafter. May he bless us all with success in this life and in the next.

Najwa & Nadira

Muslimah2Muslimah