Thursday, May 7, 2009

Some Day May Never Come!!

*this blog is intended as a reminder to myself and insha' Allah to all who read it*

We only have one guarantee in life and that is DEATH! It may seem very blunt but it's very true. Many times we can be very short-sited, particularly as youth(teens-twenties). I have recently experienced a few deaths in my family, some very unexpected, and it has got me thinking. We don't know when are time is going to be up! All we can do is live each and every moment for the sake of Allah. We have to guard our actions, thoughts and words. We have to keep in mind that our most precious gift is our deen and that we will never be perfect, but we can strive for perfection. Many people don't even have Islam in their hearts and we do. We as Muslimahs should never ever take this for granted.

We've said this before and previous blogs but we have made many changes in our lives over the past couple of years. We would say to ourselves that eventually we would do better. Many times we say to ourselves "someday we will do this/that". Such as someday I will wear hijab, someday I will offer salah, someday I will make sunnah salah, someday I will learn more surahs, someday I will learn Arabic, someday I will stop backbiting, someday I will stop clubbin', someday I will be kinder, etc. This list could go on for ever and ever.


This could be the very last blog that we post or even the very last blog you read because our time has come! So what do we do? We live each moment likes it's our last. By this we don't mean wild out and "get it in". We mean strive to do what is fisabilillah and "go hard in this deen". We only have one shot and our time here is soooooo short in comparison to the akhirah(afterlife). On the day of judgment we will stand alone and be held responsible for ALL of our actions; good and bad. We can't say "Sister So-and-So talked me into it or Sister So-and-So did it too." We know what we are supposed to do and what we are not supposed to do, we have no excuses! Ignorance is no excuse we should be consistently learning from the cradle to the grave. If we are unsure about something, we should look it up and try to make sure that we are doing what is correct.

We still have many goals that insha' Allah we will be able to achieve but we will sincerely try every single day, hour and minute to do better. May Allah guide us all on al siratul mustaqeem- Ameen.

We must remember Inna lillaai wa inna ilayhi raji'oon(from him we came and to him we will return)

We kept this one short because we will be posting a more detailed video about this topic on YouTube in our next installment so insha' Allah subscribe(click the yellow button) if you haven't already. Here is the link for our YouTube.

Asalaamu alaikum
Nadira & Najwa

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Bridesmaids and Music at a Muslim Wedding???

We have been to many Islamic weddings and we have seen many different themes. We see the bride dressed in Indian dresses, traditional white gowns, Abayas, African gowns, some with the woman absent for the nikah (ceremony) and present for the walimah (reception/ marriage feast). The groom usually goes with the flow of the theme: tuxedo and tie for the traditional western theme, kurta suits for the Indian theme, Grande Buba for the African theme, and a thobe for the low-key Islamic theme.

Okay, so the question is; Which way is the Islamic way and how much time, energy and money should we put into our weddings? Should we have bridesmaids? Should we have groomsmen? Should we have a first dance and music? Should we provide alcohol for our non-Muslim guests? Should my dowry be big or small?

The Arabic word Walima (marriage feast) is derived from the root word Walam, which literally means to gather and assemble. The Arabs used it for a meal or feast where people were invited and gathered. Later, the term became exclusive for the wedding banquet.

The Arabs used different terms for the various feasts they enjoyed. For example: al-I’zar on the occasion of a child’s circumcision, al-Khurs for a marriage not ending in divorce, al-Wakira on building a new home, al-Naqi’ah when a traveller returns home, al-Aqiqah on the seventh day after childbirth, al-Ma’duba for a general meal without any specific reason, etc.

The marriage feast (walima) is a Sunna of our beloved Prophet Muhammad (Allah bless him & give him peace). It is an outward expression of gratitude and pleasure and a great means of publicising the marriage, which has been greatly encouraged.

Sayyiduna Anas ibn Malik (Allah be pleased with him) narrates that the Prophet Muhammad(Allah bless him & give him peace) saw a yellow mark on Abdur Rahman ibn Awf (Allah be pleased with) and said: “What’s this?” He replied: “I have married a woman with the dowry being gold to the weight of a date-stone.” The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) said: “May Allah bless you (in your marriage), perform a Walima, even if it is only with a goat.” (Sahih al-Bukhari,no. 4872)

The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) himself provided a Walima after many of his marriages. He provided meat and bread on the occasion of his marriage with Zaynab bint Jahsh (Allah be pleased with her), Hays (a type of sweet-dish cooked with dates, cheese & butter) on the occasion of his marriage with Safiyya (Allah be pleased with her) and barley on another occasion. (See: Sahih al-Bukhari & Sahih Muslim)

Thus, it is a Sunna and strongly recommended to have a Walima.

The Time of Walima:

The scholars have disagreed as to the correct time of this Walima. There are many opinions. For example:

1) At the time of the marriage contract,

2) After the marriage contract and before consummation of marriage,

3) At the time of the wedding procession (bride leaving for her husband’s house) (Ibn Hajar, Fath al-Bari, 9/287)

However, the majority of the scholars (jumhur) are of the opinion that Walima is a meal that is prepared after the marriage has been consummated. This was the practice of the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace), as explicitly mentioned in one narration.

Sayyiduna Anas ibn Malik (Allah be pleased with him) narrates that he was a boy of ten when the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) migrated to Madina. (He added): “My mother and aunts used to urge me to serve the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) regularly, thus I served him for ten years. When the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) passed away, I was twenty years old, and I knew about the order of Hijab more than anyone else, when it was revealed. It was revealed for the first time when the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) had consummated his marriage with Zainab bint Jahsh (Allah be pleased with her). The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) in the morning was a bridegroom, and he invited the people to a banquet. So they came, ate, and then all left except a few who remained with the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) for a long time….. (Sahih al-Bukhari, no. 4871)

Sayyiduna Anas (Allah be pleased with him) said: “The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) consummated his marriage with a woman (Zainab), so he sent me to invite people for a meal.” (Sahih al-Bukhari, no. 4875)

The great Hadith master (hafidh), Ibn Hajar al-Asqalani (Allah have mercy on him) states:

“The Hadith of Anas (quoted above) is clear in determining that Walima is considered to be after the consummation of marriage.” (Fath al-Bari, 9/199. Also see: I’la al-Sunan, vol. 10, p. 11)

It is stated in al-Fatawa al-Hindiyya:

“The marriage banquet (walima) is a Sunna and there is great reward in it. And it is carried out when the marriage is consummated.” (al-Fatawa al-Hindiyya, 5/343)

Having said this, scholars mention that there is also scope in following the other opinions, thus if one had a Walima before consummation, it is hoped that one will gain the reward of Sunna.

How many days?
The Hanafi jurists (fuqaha) are of the opinion that, a banquet up to two days will be considered to be a Walima, after which it will no longer be considered a Walima.

It is stated in al-Fatawa al-Hindiyya:

“There is nothing wrong in inviting people the next day after consummation or the day after. After that, marriage and Walima celebrations will come to an end.” (5/343)

It has also been reported from the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) that he stated: “Walima on the first day is confirmed (haq), and on the second day, it is good (ma’ruf), and on the third day, it is showing off.” (Sunan Abu Dawud, no. 3738)

Although scholars mention that if there is a need, such as not being able to invite everybody on one day, then it will not be wrong to invite them on separate days.


Finally, it should be remembered that, the simpler the Walima (and the marriage ceremony as a whole) is kept, the better it will be. At times, people spend thousands upon thousands in feeding people, a sum which can be used for other indispensable needs of the Muslims. And if the intention behind spending such an amount is to show-off, then this will be regarded a grave sin.

The idea here is to feed people with sincerity and simplicity. If one feeds people the simplest of meals but from the heart, then that is far better (and the food is also more enjoyable) than feeding them quality food, where the intention is not so sincere.

Sayyida A’isha (Allah be pleased with her) narrates that the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) said: “The most blessed marriage (nikah) is the one with the least expenses.” (al-Bayhaqi in his Shu’ab al-Iman & Mishkat al-Masabih).

Excerpts taken from: Muhammad ibn Adam al-Kawthari Darul Iftaa

Najwa& Nadira

Monday, May 4, 2009


Okay, so we all know how trendy the "maxi-dress" has been this year and how for some of us, it has become a staple in our wardrobes... However, Muslimah2Muslimah has discovered a new trend this week which is called the "maxi-skirt"!!!
We know, we know... It is usually super hard to find non-frumpy long skirts, right? Well... we found it and all of these skirts can be found at Wet Seal for under $30.00... and that's including tax! We know it is getting hotter and these skirts are comfy, modest and breezy AND super cute! Think of all the many possibilities with these printed skirts! we are sure most of our readers have plenty of hijabs and long sleeved cotton shirts to match of with these skirts... If not refer back to our Hijabi-Rcessionista's in the past for hijabs! You can find these skirts at the following link:
Okay, ladies, happy summer and Happy Shopping!
Najwa & Nadira