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Thursday, February 18, 2010

Friends.....How many of us have them?

Who we choose as our friends/companions is a serious decision that is not to be taken lightly. We should want friends who are on the same path as us and want the same things out of life that we do. Our ultimate goal is to do things fisibilillah(for the sake of Allah). It is our responsibly to make sure that we are careful with who we take as our close friends.


Most importantly we should make sure that our friends/companions are other Muslimahs. You want a friend who encourages the good(halal/permissible) and discourages the bad(haraam/forbidden). Another Muslimah will remind you when it's time to offer salah, encourage proper hijab, help you in constantly remembering Allah(swt). When we are around other Muslimahs we consistently dhikr(remember) Allah(swt). For example how we greet each other, when we sneeze, yawn, begin to do something. etc. These are just a few of the many benefits of having other Muslimahs as our close friends.


You may have been reading this and thinking to yourself "All my friends are Muslimahs so I don't have anything to worry about". In a perfect world this would be true but we also have to make sure that our fellow Muslimahs are on the same page with us as well. In a friendship you want someone who will pull you up not push down. A friend will encourage you to go to Islamic classes on the weekend instead of letting your time waste away on the dunya(worldly matters). A friend will help you find a husband the halal way, not encourage you to date/have a boyfriend. A friend will not talk about her friends(backbiting), she will remind you that when you backbite another it's like eating the flesh of your sister. The point is they will be a good influence on you and help you lead a successful life in this world that will insha' Allah lead to a successful life in the akhira.


Below is proof(daleel) from Quran and Hadith on the importance of being careful who we choose as our companion
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And the believers, men and women, are protecting friends of one another, they enjoin the right and forbid the wrong (9:71)

Allah the Exalted says in the Quran: "And (remember) the Day when the wrong-doer will bite his hands and say: Woe to me! Would that I had taken a path with the Messenger. Woe to me! If only I had not taken so- and- so as a friend! He has led me astray from this Reminder (the Quran) after it had come to me." [25:27-29].

O you who believe! Avoid much suspicion, in deeds some suspicions are sins. And spy not neither backbite one another. Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? You would hate it (so hate backbiting). And fear God, verily, God is the one who accepts repentance, Most Merciful. (49: 12)

The Prophet(saw) said: "Man is influenced by the faith of his friends. Therefore, be careful of whom you associate with." - Abu Dawood & Tirmidhi

In another Hadith, Prophet(saw) said: "The example of a good companion and a bad companion is like that of the seller of musk, and the one who blows the blacksmith's bellows (respectively). So as for the seller of musk then either he will grant you some, or you buy some from him, or at least you enjoy a pleasant smell from him. As for the one who blows the blacksmith's bellows then either he will burn your clothes or you will get an offensive smell from him." - Bukhari & Muslim

The Prophet(saw) said: "Help your brother whether he is a wrong-doer or is wronged". A man enquired: 'O Messenger of Allah (saw) , I may help him when he is wronged, but how can I help him when he is a wrong-doer? ' The Prophet (saw) said ' You can prevent him from wrong-doing. That will be your help to him" - Bukhari & Muslim

May Allah(swt) bless us all with companions who help us stay on the siratul mustaqeem(the straight path) - ameen


Anything we have said right is from Allah(swt) anything we have said wrong is from us.

Love for the sake of Allah

Asalaamu alaikum

Nadira & Najwa

5 comments:

  1. As salamualikum girls!!

    SO i have questions and was wondering if u could do a blog on...how to keep ur marriage fresh.

    Like ecentually u start to get comfortable around ur husband and he gets the same with u, and the fire may go out and i've heard people say they have "dry spells" and i know sex is a taboo topic with the muslims, but lets be real...we all have to experience it one day inshaallah, so why not talk about ways to keep ur marriage new?

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  2. It's definitely a good thing to keep Muslim friends... I have very few Muslim friends in real life and it makes things harder for me. And at home, even if my husband is Muslim, he doesn't encourage Islamic behaviour much and doesn't like when I point things out to him because it makes him feel guilty. Makes Islam so hard, really.

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  3. i feel like this may be an issue. i don't think it's fair to say "Most importantly we should make sure that our friends/companions are other Muslimahs." in my opinion, it is perfectly fine to keep friends who are of other faiths, as long as they are not bad influences. Some of my best friends are Christian and Atheist. As long as they do not push their religious beliefs upon me, they're fine. They are some of the best people I know, and we should not write people off because of their faith

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  4. i was wondering if its ok to go out with a guy but not hold handz, or kiss? just 2 see if hez da rite one 4 me?

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  5. @Fatima
    Concerning friendship with guys, even if u dont hold hands or kiss. one way or the other there will be some kind of attraction and temptation. Many people say that guys and girls can be just friends, but in reality, u see many 'friendships with benefits'. Talking from experience, whenever i had a guy friend who i became good friends with, it would either be me having feelings for him or him having feelings for me. and that is really distressing being heartbroken urself or breaking someone elses heart. its jus unwanted distress. n if u wanna find the right guy, u must first have intention that when u do find the right guy to marry him. Muslimah 2 Muslimah have bree videos on marriage, best 2 go watch em. xx

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