Saturday, February 12, 2011

The Muslimah in the Mirror...

Many Muslimahs are soooo judgmental about one another. Usually, I have found that it is on such a superficial nature. It is usually based on opinions of hijab (or lack thereof), whether a sister plucks her eyebrows, wears makeup, wears nail polish, etc. Why do we not look at any other side of the coin? Many of us who are placing judgment on others are the same ones who don't know how to greet a house guest or how to associate with neighbors. These are the same people who only know one surah or don't know how to make wudu correctly. It has become an epidemic! We have to remember that we need to look within our own hearts before we even think about putting another woman in her place...
So, what do you think about this? Do you find that we judge each other on outerward appearance only? What is the obsession with the superficial?
As Salaamu Alaikum


  1. Sooooo... it's not just Muslimahs who are judgmental, it's all women. It's unfortunate that we judge each other so harshly. I believe that it's our own insecurities & doubts that drive us to pick on each other. I believe that it also stems from a need to feel accepted.

    You're right, there's more to being a good Muslimah than just outward appearance, but we don't remember that very often.

  2. AsSalamu Alaikum warahmatuallahi wa barakaatu, Great topic Najwa, I find that we judge on outer appearance in the West because some are taught, how you dress is a reflection of who you are internally which, I believe is an over statement. We should not judge a book by its cover, we should not judge by the outer appearance, for we don’t know how one really is on the inside until we get to know that person. This must stop amongst the Muslim ummah because this causes a dis -connect in the ummah. My suggestions get to know the person before judging and get to know you most importantly and make a positive lasting impression one they will never forget. You couldn’t have said it any better when you said “It has become an epidemic! We have to remember that we need to look within our own hearts before we even think about putting another woman in her place”. Sincerely, Keemah

  3. As-salaamu alaikum! Yea i agree with the most above. We shouldn't judge our sisters at all, we should be going it the way that Allah(swt) legislated and how the prophet(pbuh) taught us in this situation. We should remind the sister, make dua, and Allah (swt) knows best! Leave it alone. Possibly most muslimas are ignorant about their religion, while criticizng others, they fail to look at the faults within their hearts and try to correct them but trying to get the spec out of the sister's eye and not of her own. We should reflect and ponder on the qur'an + sunnah and imporve on our intentions in all of our actions subhanallah!

  4. Salaam aleikum
    This is so true ppl judge others so easy instead of looking at their own faulths...I dont know what we can do about this.
    I think to start with we must make sure we ourselves dont behave that bad.When it comes to others we cant really change other peoples behaviour..
    Personally I would suggets sisters to avoid to be friend with someone that talks about other people in a bad way.
    People are all different and have their own ways to dress etc who are we to judge? May Allah swt guide us all and forgive us all.

  5. Al Salam Alaykum.

    I hold the opinion that no muslimah should judge another's basic faith and her iman, that is something only Allah (SWT) in His infinite knowledge knows. We are all imperfect, and as human beings we make mistakes, if any of us sees that a fellow muslimah is going about something the wrong way, why not try and council her in a friendly, compassionate manner?
    Or even go seek knowledge about that particular topic together, and enjoy even more benefits!!
    Of course sometimes we could find ourselves being judgemental, but maybe we should all try and work on that.

  6. Assalaam waliekum.
    I know that Muslimahs should be judgmental of other Muslimahs however I do believe in helping each other and being compassionate. Plus some Muslimahs feel as though they dont want the help or they don't want to hear it or they want to be "cool" and "fashionable" which is snobby in my view.
    What are they going to say when they have to make up prayers because their "fashionably wrapped" hijab slips off during prayer or they can't grasp why other Muslims don't salaam them due to them dressing like non-Muslims?
    Some of the things you mentioned nullifies wuduh & pray like not wearing proper hijab and fingernail polish. I have a daughter and insha'allah, I would pull her aside for a talk if she started doing things that were endangering her deen. Every Muslimah should want for her fellow sisters as she would for herself.
    None of this is new. The Prophet pbuh had to deal with the Muslims trying to be like the people around them. Some of this attitude is what the Prophet pbuh warned the Muslims to avoid as of they were the habits of the non-Muslims and they were things that Allah SWT Disliked.

  7. Assalaam waliekum. Im sorry typo in the first line: "Muslimahs should not be".

  8. Assalamualeikum sister, JazakAllah khair for posting this. This is such an important subject to speak about, as it's a growing problem in our society. It's not even like we sisters say these things about non-muslim women, but rather our own Muslim sisters!! Have we forgotten our Beloved Prophet's (PBUH) hadith saying that backbiting is like eating the flesh of ones own brother?? At least, if you have a problem with what a sister is doing, change it about yourself, then speak to her privately and tell her politely that what she is doing is incorrect. Remember that when you are pointing towards someone, three fingers are pointing back towards yourself... May Allah swt have mercy on us all and forgive us all for our sins, ya Rahman ya Raheem. Ameen, thumma ameen. JAZAKALLAH khair for this post, may Allah swt reward you all!!

    -The Creative Muslimah @

  9. “O children of Adam, We have bestowed upon you clothing to conceal your private parts and as adornment. But the clothing of righteousness – that is best. That is from the signs of Allah that perhaps they will remember.” [Qur’an 7:26]

    In each of these cases, the sisters felt naked; they felt stripped of their Hijab; they all felt something was missing. Do you know why? It is because although they were very comfortable in modest attire, they were too naïve to trivialize the garment of piety, the garment for our souls. The first unwittingly gave a free rein to her eyes. The second’s miserliness and pride was going beyond her control. The third indulged in futile discussion or backbiting. The fourth was unable to tame her temper.

    My dear sisters, it is essential to clothe our souls as modestly as our body. While without a modest attire, the body feels revealed – without piety, our souls are revealed. I do not intend to discourage you by pointing out faults; instead, I wish to remind you and myself so that we can further improve ourselves. In order to solve a problem, we must first recognize it and must not ignore or trivialize it. Dress is just a facet of the entire concept of Hijab; there is a lot more to it! Often, our actions and words can put off our other sisters from not only observing Hijab (as it happened in the case of Fatima) but also from Islam itself. It is understandable that perhaps it may be difficult to improve or be perfect, and that it requires due time and effort, but it is not impossible by the help of Allah (subhanahu wa ta’ala). So let us try sisters!

    May Allah make it easier for all of us in practising Islam with perfection. Ameen.

  10. Subahan'Allah. I agree, it's so sad. but at the same time Woman will be just that... Woman. islam will soften all ours hearts insha'Allah to be more like the best of makind rather than the worst of them.
    Asalamwalaykum warahmatulahi wabarakatu

  11. Assalamu Alaikum. We miss yall.

  12. As salamu alaikum wa rahmatullah,

    I appreciate you point that Muslimah's should not judge other Muslimahs. I think you are correct in saying that we cannot determine the other's heart so to judge someone and say "so and so is not religious because they don't wear hijab" is wrong. We cannot see into each other's hearts.

    On the other hand.. Alhamdulillah I am so happy to have Muslim sisters who DO Judge my _outward_ actions. There was a point where, although I wore hijab, I wore makeup - if my sisters did not tell me what I was doing was wrong I would have been completely oblivious to this.

    Rasulullah (SAW) said, ‘A Mu’ min is a mirror for a Mu’min.’ (Abu Dawud)

    It's important for us to keep check of each other because if we don't -- who else will? Better to hear it from our sisters then anyone else.

  13. Aslaam aleki,
    With study , prayer and supplication, comes KNOWLEDGE! And Allah knows best! May we ALL continue to ENCOURAGE NOT DISCOURAGE especially "NEW" Muslimahs like me who just may NOT KNOW!

  14. As Salaamu Alaikum Sisters!
    Such a true and sadenning topic. Except its not as small as appears to be. Its certainly is NOT just in West and it certainly is NOT just amongst Muslimahs who are undereducated in the deen (even thought that was a great point about not even knowing correct wudu and adaab -manners, but being soo judgemental). This IS an epidemic across the WORLD in Islam. We have divided into sects (which is HARAM) and we have not been sisters and brothers to each other. Alhamdulillah, I have been blessed to meet many empowering and accepting sisters when I first entered Islam, but then when I started branching out to other cities and circles I also saw an ugly side. Lets start with OURSELVES, Oh ALLAH SUBHANA WA TA ALA, make me better!! Ameen

  15. just to add... we also have to be careful when correcting other Muslimahs because we have to keep in mind there are different schools of thought and different rulings from the scholars of Islam on certain issues. So, yes, we definately should help and encourage each other to do what is right according to Islam. But, like the other sister said, when you point the finger, there are three more pointing back at you...

    Luv ALL my sister deeply for the sake of ALLAH!

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