Sunday, June 27, 2010

Keeping Your Marriage Fresh With the "Five Senses Rule"

"And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): verily in that are Signs for those who reflect."

(Quran: Ar-Rum 21)

1. Sight- Always beautify yourself. Make sure your clothing is nice, your hair is done and your makeup looks just right (if you wear it).

2. Hearing- Always greet your hubby with a sweet voice and leave any bad news for later. Never speak in a loud, boisterous manner. Don't try to engage is gossip or trivial conversations. Keep positive, Islamic conversations going and things that your hubby has interest in. Leave the other stuff for your girlfriends.

3. Touch- Make sure your body, your bedsheets are nice to the touch. This could mean shaving your legs or using a nice moisturizer. Using downy softener sheets or changing to Egyptian cotton or satin.

4. Smell- Never have a bad smell in the house. While you cook, be sure to open the windows and afterwards be sure to light a candle, burn oils or incense, or spray a room freshener. Also, change your clothes if you have been cooking meat or onions. Make sure you keep up your hygiene and make a habit of brushing your teeth and spraying perfume on the back of your neck, behind your ears and any other place you can think of before bed. ;-)

5. Taste- Try new recipes for variety and master the dishes he enjoys the most. Be sure that dinner is always ready before he makes it home. No man likes to come home on an empty stomach only to find nothing waiting for him on the stove.
what things would YOU add to this? what do YOU do to keep your hubby happy???

Asalaamu alaikum
Nadira & Najwa


  1. this is one of most asinine articles I think I've ever read. Islam is not slavery and there are many traditions of the Prophet that speak of a husband's duty to his wife. This type of article just reinforces the negative stereotypes of Muslims in general. There is much more to Islam than hijab, polygamy and being subservient to your man. There are many wonderful examples of strong Muslim women who were scholars, teachers, business leaders and even leaders of nations (Bilquis, who is mentioned in the Quran), their jobs went way beyond cooking and cleaning. If you want to brainwash yourself to believe this mindless drivel that's one thing, but presenting yourselves as a knowledgeable source to impressionable new Muslimas is quite disturbing.

  2. Khadijah Abdul-AzizJune 27, 2010 at 9:12 PM

    @Anonymous... Maybe you should read the other articles instead of bashing M2M for posting something about keeping your marriage fresh. You are obviously not a Muslimah to say such a thing. What is wrong with keeping your husband happy? They also have a series called Muslim Women to Look Up To... why don't you read that instead of making baseless comments. Also, if you ARE a Muslimah, look out... You can believe your husband will be kicking you to curb shortly if you think doing these minor things is slavery... ROTFLOL.

    @Muslimah2Muslimah: I love this post! Great advice! Shukran. Sorry for the above comment. These women just kill me with their attitude sometimes!

    -Khadijah Abdul-Aziz

  3. LOL... Sister Khadijah, try to remember to love your sisters for the sake of Allah. Shaytan comes in many forms. Anonymous might have had a bad day. Give her a break. Perhaps to her keeping up her hygeine and feeding her family is hard work. May Allah ,make things easy for her. Ameen.

  4. As Salamaualaikum!

    I Think this was a great post, this is after al MUSLIMAH TO MUSLIMAH not muslima to muslim man, so the advice we have for each other as women, and keeping up with our selves and our marriages has to do with just that! between WOMEN so the things men should do could be posted somewhere else.

    any ways I Love the article i think its great, any one in a good marriage knows that obviously its a equal thing. but if ur husband is working hard to provide, why NOT do these things? u can wake up clean if the house is dirty, lounge all day until about a hr or so before he gets off work, cook, get dressed and then enjoy him when he gets home, compared to being in a office, or at a job all day that u dont want to be at, but just greatful to have, you've had a prettty laxed day. plus... keeping up with hygeine should be something every woman should do, married or not!

    great advice girls! Mashaallah keep up the work! :D

    i would Add, Eat dinner together, Listen to him rant about his day with open ears and affection before u dive into yours, i'm not married but i do know that men like to be heard, and feel appreciated just as much as women!

    OH and when ever you're out shopping with ur girls, pick him up something u think he will like, or look or smell good on him, or even something sweet from the bakery. being thoughtful of ur spouse "just because" is definitely a way to keep it fresh and build affection!

    :) Take care sisters xoxo

  5. I think that some of these things are incorrect. It is not a wife's job to make sure her husband everything he wants and be his slave. It is both of their jobs to contribute to a marriage to keep it "fresh" and healthy. Often times, people are led to believe that women are not supposed to do anything but get married, have babies, cook, clean, and please their husband. That is not a life.

    Keeping a man happy is not only by stimulating his senses, it's about stimulating his mind and him doing the same for you, you little bastards.

  6. I'm hardly sure if I should comment, but I will anyway.

    Insha'Allah, this article will help a muslimah who needs to hear this. Some of the items mentioned seem a little dated to me, but maybe that's what we need to do...not only as Muslim women, but as women in general. We should always want our homes to be positive and nurturing for our families.

    To Anon...I hope you didn't mean to be as offensive as it seems. Yes, there are women who are not homemakers. There are women who work a full time job or more out of sheer necessity to provide for their families...insha'Allah, things like keeping the home smelling fresh, or having dinner prepared are things that younger muslimahs can do for their show that they care and see all that is being done for them...

  7. I personally think that we should be able to speak to our husbands about anything, not just his interests...what about your own interests? I don't think it could be a one way street. And we shouldn't have to beautify ourselves for them, we have to want to do it for ourselves first. Maybe I'm wrong, maybe I'm right, but this is how I was brought up. We are suppose to keep each other happy, it can't just be to keep him happy.

  8. Asalaamu Alaikum sisters.

    Is this 'Anonymous' really serious? Everything mentioned is this article are simple things that any woman should enjoy doing for her husband. These are NOT chores, and certainly not hard work. Subhanallah. We must not forget that evry good intention that we have gives us rewards from ALLAH (swt. I work, just like my husband, and also take care of our young child. But I also feel happy doing some the things mentioned above. Makes me feel like a "good wife". BTW, it doesn't take a genius to know that #2 Hearing was about pleasing his mind.

    Don't be confused ladies!! Only in 'the WEST' is a marriage 50-50. In Islam there is no limit to what either person in a marriage can do.

  9. Salam

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  10. This is good info. Someone made reference to the information being dated, but I'd like to point out that it is actually art (homemaking) Western society, and new age women sometimes forget to cater to their husbands basic needs. This is not being subservient. This is simply loving and showing admiration to our husbands, and providers. Insha'Allah, we are also being treated with dignity and respect, being provided for, and cared for as the holy prophet pbuh, said that husbands are to do for us. This is a great article and Insha'Allah it fell upon the ears that needed it.

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  12. Well this isn't patronising with a hint of strong sexism is it? I'll admit, I was more than a little insulted - this reads like a Mrs. Beeton. Don't you think women know how to be clean? The above anonymous is right, this is mindless drivel. You should be empowering girls to make educated decisions, not feeding them rubbish like this. I think Emmeline Pankhurst just turned in her grave.

  13. Asalaam alikum sisters!

    Alhumdulilah, a wonderful article! I cannot wait to try these suggestions after I marry my soon-to-be husband....InshAllah I'll always take care of his needs first, as he does mine.

    I am so glad there are women out there who know better than to believe in this ''western'' ideals of selfishness.

    I applaud my fellow sisters.


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