Wednesday, February 18, 2009

You're ready to get married... now what?

You have reached a point in your life were you've decided your ready to get married for the sake of Allah, alhumdulillah! Now the question is: How do you choose your husband? Well, first things first you have to know what you SHOULD be looking for in a husband.

I know so many sisters who have a very very very detailed list of what exactly they are looking for. These lists include info such as how much money he makes, what type of car he drives, what level of education he has, what type of house will he be able to buy her, will he be able to take her on vacations, will he provide her money to shop with, his nationality, his height, his hair, his skin color, the arch of his eyebrows, how big his ears are, if his 2nd toe is longer than the rest........okay I'm exaggerating a bit now. My point is so many times I see sisters put the emphasis of their search solely on the monetary aspects or they limit their options to doctors and lawyers. My dear sisters, you are doing yourself a great disservice if you approach you search for a husband focusing on material things. The Prophet (saw) said:

“If there comes to you one whose religious commitment and character pleases you, then marry [your female relative who is under your care] to him, for if you do
not do that, there will be tribulation on earth and much corruption.”[Al-Tirmidhi]

Of course you want your husband to be able to provide for you because that is one of your rights, but more importantly you want to make sure that he is religious. You want to make sure that he is living every day for the sake of Allah. This is the type of man who you will want to spend the rest of your life with. This is the type of man who will encourage both success in this life and in the hereafter. If he does not have a lot of money, don't worry sisters. If you trust in Allah, he will provide. We know this from the following verse:

"If they be poor, Allah will enrich them out of His Bounty. And Allah is All‑Sufficient for His creatures’ needs, All‑Knowing (about the state of the
people)”[al-Noor 24:32]

Don't pass on a good brother because he's not "ballin" or "paid". With that said there is nothing wrong with wanting to marry a doctor, lawyer, etc. just make sure that is not #1 on your list of the ideal husband. Now if you find a doctor, lawyer, etc. who is pious and lives every day for the sake of Allah, please post where you found him and where other muslimahs should go for duplicates of him! LOL...just kidding.

To sum it all up sisters, seek a husband who puts his deen first and foremost in his life and then worry about everything else. If you do inshallah everything else will fall in to place. One last note is to broaden you search, you have plenty of options available to you! Look further than down the street and around the corner. You never know what city, state or country your future husband may be in or is from. I here sisters say there's no brothers out there, but there are plenty of Muslim men and you may want to consider being a co-wife (not for every sister, but it's a option). Inshallah, we will talk more about this in another blog.

As usual this is our viewpoint at M2M and we would love to her your opinion, feedback and suggestions.

As-salaamu alaikum!



  1. lool aww nice blog sis
    and thanks 4 following
    nice post too
    though i wuldnt consider being a co-wife
    i do agree money shouldnt be top of the agenda
    i mean come n get educated and make sone dough 4 urself :p

  2. its gettin harder and harder to find brothers that are both educated and have deen these days because you want someone who is compatible with you.


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