Bridesmaids and Music at a Muslim Wedding???

We have been to many Islamic weddings and we have seen many different themes. We see the bride dressed in Indian dresses, traditional white gowns, Abayas, African gowns, some with the woman absent for the nikah (ceremony) and present for the walimah (reception/ marriage feast). The groom usually goes with the flow of the theme: tuxedo and tie for the traditional western theme, kurta suits for the Indian theme, Grande Buba for the African theme, and a thobe for the low-key Islamic theme.

Okay, so the question is; Which way is the Islamic way and how much time, energy and money should we put into our weddings? Should we have bridesmaids? Should we have groomsmen? Should we have a first dance and music? Should we provide alcohol for our non-Muslim guests? Should my dowry be big or small?

The Arabic word Walima (marriage feast) is derived from the root word Walam, which literally means to gather and assemble. The Arabs used it for a meal or feast where people were invited and gathered. Later, the term became exclusive for the wedding banquet.

The Arabs used different terms for the various feasts they enjoyed. For example: al-I’zar on the occasion of a child’s circumcision, al-Khurs for a marriage not ending in divorce, al-Wakira on building a new home, al-Naqi’ah when a traveller returns home, al-Aqiqah on the seventh day after childbirth, al-Ma’duba for a general meal without any specific reason, etc.

The marriage feast (walima) is a Sunna of our beloved Prophet Muhammad (Allah bless him & give him peace). It is an outward expression of gratitude and pleasure and a great means of publicising the marriage, which has been greatly encouraged.

Sayyiduna Anas ibn Malik (Allah be pleased with him) narrates that the Prophet Muhammad(Allah bless him & give him peace) saw a yellow mark on Abdur Rahman ibn Awf (Allah be pleased with) and said: “What’s this?” He replied: “I have married a woman with the dowry being gold to the weight of a date-stone.” The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) said: “May Allah bless you (in your marriage), perform a Walima, even if it is only with a goat.” (Sahih al-Bukhari,no. 4872)

The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) himself provided a Walima after many of his marriages. He provided meat and bread on the occasion of his marriage with Zaynab bint Jahsh (Allah be pleased with her), Hays (a type of sweet-dish cooked with dates, cheese & butter) on the occasion of his marriage with Safiyya (Allah be pleased with her) and barley on another occasion. (See: Sahih al-Bukhari & Sahih Muslim)

Thus, it is a Sunna and strongly recommended to have a Walima.

The Time of Walima:

The scholars have disagreed as to the correct time of this Walima. There are many opinions. For example:

1) At the time of the marriage contract,

2) After the marriage contract and before consummation of marriage,

3) At the time of the wedding procession (bride leaving for her husband’s house) (Ibn Hajar, Fath al-Bari, 9/287)

However, the majority of the scholars (jumhur) are of the opinion that Walima is a meal that is prepared after the marriage has been consummated. This was the practice of the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace), as explicitly mentioned in one narration.

Sayyiduna Anas ibn Malik (Allah be pleased with him) narrates that he was a boy of ten when the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) migrated to Madina. (He added): “My mother and aunts used to urge me to serve the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) regularly, thus I served him for ten years. When the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) passed away, I was twenty years old, and I knew about the order of Hijab more than anyone else, when it was revealed. It was revealed for the first time when the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) had consummated his marriage with Zainab bint Jahsh (Allah be pleased with her). The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) in the morning was a bridegroom, and he invited the people to a banquet. So they came, ate, and then all left except a few who remained with the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) for a long time….. (Sahih al-Bukhari, no. 4871)

Sayyiduna Anas (Allah be pleased with him) said: “The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) consummated his marriage with a woman (Zainab), so he sent me to invite people for a meal.” (Sahih al-Bukhari, no. 4875)

The great Hadith master (hafidh), Ibn Hajar al-Asqalani (Allah have mercy on him) states:

“The Hadith of Anas (quoted above) is clear in determining that Walima is considered to be after the consummation of marriage.” (Fath al-Bari, 9/199. Also see: I’la al-Sunan, vol. 10, p. 11)

It is stated in al-Fatawa al-Hindiyya:

“The marriage banquet (walima) is a Sunna and there is great reward in it. And it is carried out when the marriage is consummated.” (al-Fatawa al-Hindiyya, 5/343)

Having said this, scholars mention that there is also scope in following the other opinions, thus if one had a Walima before consummation, it is hoped that one will gain the reward of Sunna.

How many days?
The Hanafi jurists (fuqaha) are of the opinion that, a banquet up to two days will be considered to be a Walima, after which it will no longer be considered a Walima.

It is stated in al-Fatawa al-Hindiyya:

“There is nothing wrong in inviting people the next day after consummation or the day after. After that, marriage and Walima celebrations will come to an end.” (5/343)

It has also been reported from the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) that he stated: “Walima on the first day is confirmed (haq), and on the second day, it is good (ma’ruf), and on the third day, it is showing off.” (Sunan Abu Dawud, no. 3738)

Although scholars mention that if there is a need, such as not being able to invite everybody on one day, then it will not be wrong to invite them on separate days.

Simplicity:

Finally, it should be remembered that, the simpler the Walima (and the marriage ceremony as a whole) is kept, the better it will be. At times, people spend thousands upon thousands in feeding people, a sum which can be used for other indispensable needs of the Muslims. And if the intention behind spending such an amount is to show-off, then this will be regarded a grave sin.

The idea here is to feed people with sincerity and simplicity. If one feeds people the simplest of meals but from the heart, then that is far better (and the food is also more enjoyable) than feeding them quality food, where the intention is not so sincere.

Sayyida A’isha (Allah be pleased with her) narrates that the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) said: “The most blessed marriage (nikah) is the one with the least expenses.” (al-Bayhaqi in his Shu’ab al-Iman & Mishkat al-Masabih).

Excerpts taken from: Muhammad ibn Adam al-Kawthari Darul Iftaa

Najwa& Nadira

Muslimah2Muslimah

HIJABI RECESSIONISTA- FIND OF THE WEEK: The Maxi Skirt!!!

Okay, so we all know how trendy the "maxi-dress" has been this year and how for some of us, it has become a staple in our wardrobes... However, Muslimah2Muslimah has discovered a new trend this week which is called the "maxi-skirt"!!!

We know, we know... It is usually super hard to find non-frumpy long skirts, right? Well... we found it and all of these skirts can be found at Wet Seal for under $30.00... and that's including tax! We know it is getting hotter and these skirts are comfy, modest and breezy AND super cute! Think of all the many possibilities with these printed skirts! we are sure most of our readers have plenty of hijabs and long sleeved cotton shirts to match of with these skirts... If not refer back to our Hijabi-Rcessionista's in the past for hijabs! You can find these skirts at the following link: http://www.wetseal.com/catalog/category.jsp?categoryId=102&viewAmount=142&currentPage=1

Okay, ladies, happy summer and Happy Shopping!

Najwa & Nadira

Muslimah2Muslimah

Muslimah2Muslimah: Interview With New Revert To Islam: Eva!!!

In Muslimah2Muslimah's experience of reverts to Islam, we think the transitions of one's thoughts, opinions, and behavior, in fact a whole transformation of one's perspective in life is very interesting. Eva is far from the ordinary….she exemplifies how thinking can take someone a long way. It's amazing how far a little common sense and knowledge can go. Eva is one our YouTube subscribers who became a Muslimah on of all days, Easter Sunday, masha'Allah!

The negative image presented about Islam since 9-11 here in the states has really given Islam a bad name due to the media as well as people's lack of understanding. The stereotypes about the treatment of women has been rampant in the media for many years with the Taliban and other "extremist" groups. We thought it would be interesting to interview Eva, who in the midst of all propaganda has warmly embraced Islam and get her Muslimah's Perspective on Islam...

Muslimah2Muslimah: What is your name?

Eva: Evangeline meaning "good news"

Muslimah2Muslimah: What made you become interested in Islam?

Eva: I was really doing a lot of reading and researching about myself as an African woman, and the history of our people. I began researching history and culture and various traditions, holidays, and the symbolism of many things. And the more I learned, the more I realized that in the western world we have been taught a very self-destructive way of life mentally, physically, and spiritually. In reading and exploring new things, I came across Islam and what it taught. I realized that it mainly fell in line with the positive changes I was making in my life. After I saw the connection several times, I started to research it, and found peace in it.

Muslimah2Muslimah: What does your family think about your decision?

Eva: My mom is very supportive. She trusted my judgment because she knows I researched it thoroughly first. She didn't know much about it and was just interested in learning more. I haven't had any negative reactions yet, but I have a really big family so we shall see what happens! I am most nervous about telling my Grandmother, she can be judgmental at times, and make hurtful jokes or comments about things she doesn't approve of. Inshallah she will be understanding, and open minded, I will tell her when I see her around Mother's Day.

Muslimah2Muslimah: What types of reactions have you gotten from your friends or coworkers?

Eva: The total opposite of what I expected! There are a few older Caucasian ladies there, who I have heard make some very ignorant (racist) comments, so I was expecting to have to politely tell them off, if they were disrespectful. But they actually came to me basically telling me how ignorant they were about Islam, and that they wanted to know more. This became a dawa opportunity. Also one of them brought me a beautiful Qur'an! Inshallah, I will be a positive influence on their ideas about Islam.

Muslimah2Muslimah: How has Islam changed your life?

Eva: Before Islam, I was unsatisfied in life. I was going through some things that left me really unhappy. In turn I was seeking happiness from external sources, drinking, smoking, getting piercings, tattoos. It was like I was trying to drown out a voice that was telling me I wasn't happy. It gave me momentary satisfaction, but no real peace of mind. Islam gave me that peace of mind. It made it easier for me knowing I am living my life to attain an ultimate goal, so everything I say and do has a purpose.

Muslimah2Muslimah: What advice would you give to someone who is interested in Islam?

Eva: Don't be afraid. It can be scary to change your life, but when you put your faith in Allah, he will make it easy for you. Do your research, examine things with an open mind and heart.

Muslimah2Muslimah: Islamically, women are required to wear a hijab. Others say that you must also cover your face(niqab). What are your thoughts on this?

Eva: I understand the purpose of hijab. I like the level of respect I get when I wear it, there is definitely a difference, I also like that other Muslims can identify me. Niqab, I don't think is required. But I can understand the mindstate of someone who wants to go even further to protect their modesty. Its about the state of mind and your intentions.

Muslimah2Muslimah: What is your opinion on the common labels associated with Muslims ("terrorists", "extremists" , etc.)?

Eva: I look at it like this. Charles Manson believed he was Jesus and was killing people so thy could go to Heaven. Not a single person blamed Christianity for this. But when someone claims to be a Muslim and does a horrible act, the first thing they talk about is Islam. I think its not only racist, based on the fact that this religion is typically represented as one of people of color (although there are Muslims of all races alhumdulilah!) , but there is an illogical untruthful propaganda campaign against Islam in the west.

Muslimah2Muslimah: What is your view on the impression that many non-Muslims have that Islam oppresses the women and the women have no voice in their communities?

Eva: There are many places that identify as Muslim countries, and some of them do treat women unjustly. But this behavior is unlawful in Islam, the Qur'an dictates that not only are Muslim women to be treated equally, but many practices are in place solely for their benefit and protection.

Muslimah2Muslimah: The media tends to give very negative views on women and many non-Muslims base their views solely on this. What was your view on Islam and the treatment of women before you converted to Islam?

Eva: I only had one girl friend in high school who was Muslim. She is smart, funny, and has a great personality. So that made me realize that she wasn't that different than me or anyone else. I always thought she was really pretty too, but always dressed modestly, no make up, and I wondered why she wouldn't want to show off her beauty.

Muslimah2Muslimah: Has your view changed in any way?

Eva: Yeah because I understand that as a Muslima you don't lose your femininity, you can still be beautiful. There are just different guidelines. I have had a lot of fun shopping for appropriate hijab clothes. Its like a fun challenge to put together a look that's cute, expresses who you are, and is modest.

Muslimah2Muslimah: How did you feel the first time you wore hijab?

Eva: Nervous, really nervous at first. I was scared I would be treated differently. But all that subsided when I realized that different was good, and I got more respect this way, and plenty of respectful compliments. A few days ago it was 92 degrees, and I had on hijab, loose linen pants, and a long light cotton shirt. I noticed there were a lot of girls wearing very little walking by an older man who was giving them lewd looks, he didn't even look at me. I smiled inside because that's not the kind of attention I want.

~Insha'allah, everyone... please pray for Sister Eva and welcome her
into Islam by leaving her your encouragement and wisdom, insha'allah! We are very pleased with her decision as we know she is as well. Eva, may Allah bless you in all of your endeavors and may He grant you Jannatul Firdaus! Ameen!

Najwa & Nadira

Muslimah2Muslimah

The Muslimah Bikini... Would YOU Wear One???

Okay, we all love the beach and the sun and the water... But how can we go about doing this while still being modest? Very simple... the Bodykini! This swimsuit is a two-piece with long sleeves with attached hood/hijab and long pants with a small pocket. It is made with polyester /spandex mix. It offers protection from UV rays, has low water absorbency, quick drying, resistant to sea salt, and ensures maximum comfort thanks to “four-way” stretch technology.

Question is, would you guys wear one??? Do you think it is cute or ugly? Is it modest enough,or would you want more coverage? Less coverage? Let us know!

These swimsuits can be found at : http://bodykini.com/ for US $115.06 or EU €89.00.

In Defense of Non-Hijabis

It had been ten years since she had set foot in a mosque. Being away in college had broadened her mind in many ways; one of them being her reconnecting with Islam. She had begun praying five times a day a month ago, and now felt ready to pray in public, at the university's Jumu'a prayer. She paused and stood a few feet away from the women's entrance. Taking a deep breath, she pulled the silk scarf out of her purse and tied it carefully on her head. Her ponytail stuck out a bit. She smoothed the creases on her long-sleeved beige shirt and tugged at the bottom of it to make it longer over her pants.

The prayer was great. She had never felt this sense of inner peace.

Afterwards, she tried mingling with the sisters, but nobody even looked her way. A few of them even pretended not to hear her greeting. The only sister who did talk to her said in a huff: "You know your prayer is not accepted in those pants and that tiny thing you pass for a Hijab. I suggest you get more Islamic knowledge and dress properly before coming back here." The words stung her like a million bumble bees. Too numb to respond or speak, she charged out of the hall. Never again would she associate with these people, she told herself. And never again would she return to Jumu'a.

Are you shocked reading about this incident? Don't be. It has been a reality in almost every Muslim community in North America. This harsh judgment and intolerance shown towards Muslim women who do not wear Hijab can lead to at least some Muslim women to become alienated from the Muslim community, and could lead to a complete loss of Islamic practice.
While Hijab is an obligation clearly ordained in the Quran and Sunnah, the above-mentioned method of its enforcement and encouragement is not Islamic, according to Muslim scholars, researchers and activists. Muslims have to start seeing the issue from a different perspective, they say.

SOME ARGUMENTS IN SUPPORT OF NON-HIJABI SISTERS
"I would say that the overwhelming majority of Muslim women I have met who don't cover and who believe in God, believe they should cover, but believe they're not ready yet," says Sharifa Alkhateeb, vice-president of the North American Council of Muslim Women, in an interview with Sound Vision.

This reality indicates there is a seed of faith that needs to be nurtured and encouraged. As well, it means these women need all the support they can get. Abdalla Idris Ali is a member of the Islamic Society of North America's (ISNA) Majlis Shura, which debates Islamic issues and establishes policy for the organization. He says what also has to be remembered is that many Muslim women are coming from cultures where the Hijab is not practiced, for whatever reason. These sisters should not be condemned. Rather, Islamic concepts like Hijab, should be explained to them.

Another possibility is that Muslim women who do not wear Hijab are coming from families which are either not practicing Islam, or are downright hostile to it. In this situation, "it's actually a celebration that a young Muslim woman wants to pray Jumu'a," says Kathy Bullock, who started wearing Hijab two weeks after she converted to Islam. "I think that's where the tolerance comes in."

Another reason some Muslim women may find Hijab difficult is because of the often negative ideas surrounding Hijab. For instance, that wearing Hijab kills marriage and job prospects. Muslim activists must seek to dispel such myths. "There needs to be a lot more support for the women who decide to cover," says Bullock, who completed a PhD. about The Politics of the Veil from the University of Toronto in January. Bullock also gives a chilling warning to those who condemn non-Hijabi Muslim women: "We might be wearing Hijab but we might be doing something incredibly wrong which cancels out the reward [for wearing it]." One of these things she mentions is arrogance.

WHY ARE SOME MUSLIMS SO SENSITIVE ABOUT THE HIJAB?
Some Muslims seek to condemn non-Hijabis out of their understanding of the Quranic injunction of enjoining the good and forbidding the evil. Yet, they fail to take the right approach in doing it, in accordance with the example of the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him), which was one of kindness, gentleness and patience. Interestingly, some Muslim men and women who criticize non-Hijabi Muslim women seem to have different reasons for doing it and varying ways of approaching a sister who does not wear Hijab.

"Unfortunately on the brothers' side there is a push to make Hijab the marker of Islamic identity," says Bullock. She also emphasizes the hypocrisy of many Muslim men criticizing Muslim women who do not wear the Hijab, while they themselves wear no beards, images on their shirts, or ill-fitting jeans. These forms of dress are strictly prohibited for men in Islam. Yet, go to any Jumu'a or Jamaah prayer, and these forms of unIslamic dress can be easily seen. Also, the lowering of the gaze is rarely ever practiced.

"I think some of the men put too much emphasis on the women instead of looking at their own selves," she says. However, Alkhateeb thinks most of the men are less vigilant than the women about Hijab, partly because they figure the women are going to take care of it.
She argues that the majority of the Muslim men who are over concerned about with the issue of Hijab because they don't trust themselves sexually, and fear their own reaction to a woman who is not covered Islamically.

For women, weak self-identity and faith could explain the harshness shown towards non-Hijabi Muslimas. "It is so difficult to maintain the practice of covering, emotionally, psychologically on the job and in everyday life, you get so much negativity from other people that the reaction of most of the practicing women and activists is to develop a cocoon, a protective cocoon, and part of that protective cocoon is in continually, verbally and in other ways rejecting what is unlike yourself," explains Alkhateeb.

"And that is to shore up your own self-identity. I think that part of the reason they are so negative is because this is part of shoring up their own self-identity and because there is a hidden fear that if they let down their guard that they'll stop covering. And if they allow any space in their mind to alternative ways of thinking that their thinking will fall apart. And that means that the underlying precepts and concepts are not strong."

WHERE DOES HIJAB FIT ON THE ISLAMIC LADDER?
"While it is correct to say that Hijab is correct in the teaching of Islam we tend to forget that there are many other basic issues, why the over obsession?" asks Jamal Badawi, a member of the North American Fiqh Council.

Part of the reason some Muslims treat non-Hijabis so harshly is because of their lack of understanding about where the obligation of Hijab ranks on the Islamic ladder.
A more correct approach would be gradual and would mean implementing more important aspects of Islam, like Iman (faith), and praying five times a day before moving on to requirements like Hijab.

"We fail to see any Ayah (verse of the Quran) pertaining to Hijab in the entire Makkan revelation that was given to the Prophet, that's almost 13 years. The injunctions about more detailed aspects relating to the righteous Muslim community were revealed during the Medinan period. Some in the middle, and later part of that period," explains Badawi, "This is a revealing lesson for us because it shows that Allah knew in advance what injunctions He wanted to reveal," he adds. "Yet He delayed the revelation of those matters until many, many years of preparation on the level of Iman, submission to Allah, love of Allah and the sincere desire to voluntarily obey Allah and His Messenger. Once that base was established it wasn't difficult at all for the believing women to willingly abide by the injunctions of Allah. "

Badawi says this is similar to how the Islamic commandment forbidding intoxicants was introduced. "The same process of preparation took place to the point that when the final prohibition of intoxicants was revealed it wasn't difficult for men to abide by that willingly and immediately." He explains this was especially difficult for Muslim men, who were the ones reported more likely to consume alcohol than women at that time.
"Some well-intentioned Muslims seem to miss these lessons from the gradual revelation and become too legalistic to the point of doing more harm than benefit, notwithstanding their good intentions," adds Badawi.

WRONGLY USING THE "BASEBALL BAT" APPROACH TO THE HIJAB
"Muslims gain a little bit of knowledge and they want to run around with a baseball bat and beat people over the head with religion. That's exactly what [has] made many young people leave the mosque," says Alkhateeb. Using the right method to tell Muslim women about Hijab is crucial, just as it is in advising Muslims to implement any other requirement of the faith. "In the Prophet's whole life he led by encouragement not pressure," she says. "The way he behaved is the opposite of how most Muslims who are practicing Muslims behave towards each other in terms of giving advice. His way was not carrying around a religious baseball bat."
The thinker and writer, who has also been an activist for the last 35 years points out the "baseball bat" methodology is in full swing when many Muslims encounter non-Hijabis.
"Instead of inviting her and embracing her, they're immediately trying to think about what they can criticize her about," says Alkhateeb.

The Prophet also did not use"vigilantes" to impose a religious requirement like Hijab.
"When we deal with the Sunnah, we find that he never appointed vigilantes to go around to reinforce something that believing Muslim women were encouraged to do, or use any harsh words or actions to arrive at that desired situation or desired setting," says Badawi. "The approach that he followed which we should follow as our example was not to focus on issues like Hijab before Iman and psychological and spiritual preparation was in place." Badawi stresses inviting to Hijab and other Islamic requirements should be done in a way "that would motivate people to respect the moral values of society rather than simply forcing them to do so. In fact that goes back to the definition of Islam which is willing trusting and loving submission to Allah and obedience to His Messenger."

As an example, he cited an incident from the lifetime of the Prophet when a Bedouin man urinated in the mosque. When other Muslims saw this, they became very angry and wanted to rebuke him harshly. The Prophet on the other hand, stopped them and told the man gently what he was doing was incorrect. "That story is a classic example of the contrast between the attitudes of some well-intentioned Muslims who want to correct the wrong immediately and by any means and the approach of the Prophet of kindness, gentleness, persuasion and wisdom," he explains.

TEMPORARILY TOLERATING THE WRONG: A RULE OF USUL AL-FIQH
"The other aspect which is frequently missed is another rule of ordaining the good and forbidding the evil which was addressed by many scholars especially by the famous Shaykh ul Islam Ibn Taymiyyah," says Badawi. "The rule basically is that if in a given situation, attempting or trying to forbid the wrong may result in greater harm than benefit, then it is better to tolerate the wrong on a temporary basis."

"I think the classic example that Ibn Taymiyyah is referred to is when the Tatars invaded Muslim lands," explains Badawi. "He was told that some of these soldiers were drinking and that they should be stopped because this is part of forbidding the wrong yet, he advised that they should be left alone. His reasoning was that if those soldiers become sober, they might go on killing more people which is a greater harm than drinking".

"This is not a new rule," he emphasizes. "It is a basic rule in Usul al-Fiqh, the roots of Islamic law, that if some harm is inevitable then it is better to tolerate the lesser harm in order to prevent great harm." Badawi demonstrates how this rule could apply to a situation where a Muslim sister who does not wear Hijab attends Jumu'a prayer. "For example, if that sister is approached in a harsh way she may not come again which could hurt her and hurt the community at large. But if she's welcomed first and there's demonstration of brotherhood and friendship, then in a gentle and wise way that is suitable for her, she can be encouraged, then of course it would be a far better result than the confrontational, harsh approach."

INVOLVING NON-HIJABI SISTERS IN ACTIVITIES
"It's only by mixing in the right company that someone who is contemplating Hijab will have the strength and courage to make the final act," says Bullock. This means women offering friendship, as well as involving the sisters in Islamic activities through organizations like Muslim Students' Associations. Bullock notes that if a Muslim woman wants to do something for Islam she should be applauded "because she could be out there doing something else."
"Muslim organizations have a duty to say what is right and to invite in the best of manner women to cover and to support them when they do so but that doesn't mean individuals should be judgmental when women are not covering," she adds.

INVOLVEMENT, BUT NOT LEADERSHIP
However, Ali and Badawi draw the line of involvement of non-Hijabi Muslim women in Muslim organizations at the leadership level. They both say that any Islamically-oriented organization will select a person to be their leader who reflects their goals and aspirations. That means a Muslim woman who does not wear Hijab would not be selected because she is not fully following the precepts of Islam. Similarly, a Muslim man who is not fulfilling Islamic obligations like prayer, chaste behavior, etc. would also not be selected for a leadership position in such a milieu.
Badawi says this is not exclusion. Rather, it is the natural outcome in any milieu which aims to be Islamically-oriented. Its leadership will represent the precepts of Islam as much as possible.
"I'm against the term exclusion because if we apply the Islamic Shura (consultative) method then the leadership would emanate from the people, will be chosen by the people. And if the community or Islamic organization in a given setting are truly Islamically oriented, one would expect that the person chosen to be the spokesperson and symbol of that organization should reflect their conviction and values in the best possible way."

A POSITIVE APPROACH
Badawi gives an example of how he, "with my weaknesses" approached an aggressive non-Hijabi sister and the result. Many years back, during a visit to Australia, one sister, during one of his lectures, a non-Hijabi Muslim woman asked questions about Hijab, in a disapproving manner. He talked to her kindly and give information without harshness. Two years later, he returned to Australia, and a sister in full Hijab approached him, asking if he recognized her. He did not.
"I am the one who was arguing with you about Hijab two years ago," she told him. "But it is the approach and information that you gave me that helped me to study more, to educate myself and to make up my own decision and I am happy with what I decided."

HIJABI RECESSIONISTA: Find of the Week:PLAID, PLAID, PLAID!!!

Our find of the week is all about PLAID!!! We are loving this new trend that has been seen everywhere. All of this can be found at http://www.forever21.com/search.asp?keyword=plaid.

Happy Shopping!
Najwa & Nadira
Muslimah2Muslimah

What Do You Think of This Picture!!!

What is your opinion of this picture? Keep in mind that in this picture, there is a skull with the Israel flag painted on it. Surrounding that is the flags of many of the western countries, (USA, Australia, Britain, France, Switzerland)... And then there is a sword with Allah (swt) and Rasul (saw) and then Muhammad(saw) written in Arabic... We just wanted your opinions on this, Insha'Allah...

Salaams,
Najwa & Nadira
Muslimah&Muslimah

The World is Becoming Less Christian!!!

America is a less Christian nation than it was 20 years ago, and Christianity is not losing out to other religions, but primarily to a rejection of religion altogether, a survey published Monday found.

Three out of four Americans call themselves Christian, according to the American Religious Identification Survey from Trinity College in Hartford, Connecticut. In 1990, the figure was closer to nine out of 10 — 86 percent.

At the same time there has been an increase in the number of people expressing no religious affiliation.

The survey also found that “born-again” or “evangelical” Christianity is on the rise, while the percentage who belong to “mainline” congregations such as the Episcopal or Lutheran churches has fallen.

One in three Americans consider themselves evangelical, and the number of people associated with mega-churches has skyrocketed from less than 200,000 in 1990 to more than 8 million in the latest survey.

CNN somehow manages to blame the decline in the number of Christians on the Republican Party.

Meanwhile, the percentage of Muslims has doubled since 1990 ...

United States

Through immigration and conversion, Islam is growing in the United States. Some estimates say that the number of Muslims will exceed 2 percent of the population by the year 2010. In 2005, 57% of United States residents polled viewed Muslims favorably, 22% unfavorably.

In 2005, the Council on American-Islamic Relations (CAIR) cited a 29.6 percent increase in harrassment of Muslims and an 8 percent increase in hate crimes over 2004. In 2008, CAIR reported a decrease in hate crimes, but a significant increase in civil rights violations.

During the recent US presidential campaign, Americans' attitudes toward Islam became apparent when certain people tried to label presidential candidate Barack Obama a Muslim. Most of us remember the emails that circulated accusing Obama of being a closet Muslim. Reactions to this were telling.

Obama's opponent, Senator John McCain, said he would vote for a Muslim if the person was a qualified candidate, however, John McCain's pastor, Rod Parsley, claimed that Islam is a "conspiracy of spiritual evil." A patter of similar villifications created a negative background noise to the entire campaign.

Colin Powell, a former US Army general and Secretary of State under President George W. Bush, said during his endorsement of Barack Obama for president, as a response to the attempt to label Obama a Muslim, "Is there something wrong with being Muslim in this country? The answer is no." Reaction to Mr. Powell's endosement and remarks was predictably split along party and liberal vs. conservative lines, indicating that Americans are still divided in their views about Islam.

Europe

According to the BBC, because of immigration and a higher-than average birth rate, the Islamic population in Europe is growing rapidly, and Islam is Europe's fastest growing religion. In western Europe, the population averages less than 5 percent of the overall population whereas in some eastern European countries Muslims make up 40 percent or more of the population.

According to the Pew Global Attitudes Project, western Europeans regard Christians, Jews, and Muslims twice as unfavorably as Great Britain, the United States and Canada. All in all, the western European attitude toward Muslims is right around 50/50: half favorable and half unfavorable.

Because Islamic immigrants form a cohesive, separatist entity within the host country, Europeans are concerned that Muslims will not integrate into their society. In particularly secularist states such as France, Germany and the Netherlands, this can be a source of conflict, as illustrated by the fact that more than 50 percent of those polled in each of these three countries favor banning Muslim head scarves in public schools.

There is a feeling among some Europeans that immigrants are being given civil rights over and above that of the natives.

The Middle East

According to the Pew Global Attitudes Project, Middle Eastern countries overwhelmingly favor Islam and look unfavorably upon Christians and very unfavorably upon Jews.

In Israel, about one in six citizens is Muslim, comprising about 16 percent of the population - a higher percentage than most European countries. Israel was not polled by the Pew Global Attitudes Project, and a thorough search did not yield statistics on Israeli feelings toward Islam, pro or con. About 35 Israelies convert to Islam every year. A New York Times Magazine article bore witness that Jewish Israeli youngsters harrass Muslim youngsters in West Bank settlements.

China and Indonesia

About fifty percent of people polled in China expressed an unfavorable view of all religions. Ninety-nine percent of Indonesians polled expressed a favorable view of Islam, while 76 percent expressed an unfavorable view of Jews, and 38 percent were unfavorably disposed toward Christians.

As part of the pre-Olympics clean-up in the spring of 2008, China accused their tiny Muslim minority of conspiring to commit terrorist acts, but no evidence was presented to validate this claim.

Indonesia is like a Middle Eastern country in its disposition toward religions. Therefore it is decidedly pro-Islam.

Russia

Russia has the most favorable view of Christians among those nations polled, and a favorable outlook on Jews, but a split view of Islam that is echoed everywhere but in the Middle East. Fifty-five percent of those polled viewed Islam favorably whereas 36 percent view Islam unfavorably. Similar percentages appear across the globe.

Freed from Soviet repression, Islam is blossoming in Russia. But ethnic Russians view the growth of Islam with worry that they are losing their national identity. This feeling, too, is echoed across the globe.

-Tom Rubenoff

A Black Imam Breaks Ground in Mecca!!!

RIYADH, Saudi Arabia

TWO years ago, Sheik Adil Kalbani dreamed that he had become an imam at the Grand Mosque in Mecca, Islam’s holiest city.

Waking up, he dismissed the dream as a temptation to vanity. Although he is known for his fine voice, Sheik Adil is black, and the son of a poor immigrant from the Persian Gulf. Leading prayers at the Grand Mosque is an extraordinary honor, usually reserved for pure-blooded Arabs from the Saudi heartland.

So he was taken aback when the phone rang last September and a voice told him that King Abdullah had chosen him as the first black man to lead prayers in Mecca. Days later Sheik Adil’s unmistakably African features and his deep baritone voice, echoing musically through the Grand Mosque, were broadcast by satellite TV to hundreds of millions of Muslims around the world.

Since then, Sheik Adil has been half-jokingly dubbed the “Saudi Obama.” Prominent imams are celebrities in this deeply religious country, and many have hailed his selection as more evidence of King Abdullah’s cautious efforts to move Saudi Arabia toward greater openness and tolerance in the past few years.

“The king is trying to tell everybody that he wants to rule this land as one nation, with no racism and no segregation,” said Sheik Adil, a heavyset and long-bearded man of 49 who has been an imam at a Riyadh mosque for 20 years. “Any qualified individual, no matter what his color, no matter where from, will have a chance to be a leader, for his good and his country’s good.”

Officially, it was his skill at reciting the Koran that won him the position, which he carries out — like the Grand Mosque’s eight other prayer leaders — only during the holy month of Ramadan. But the racial significance of the king’s gesture was unmistakable.

Sheik Adil, like most Saudis, is quick to caution that any racism here is not the fault of Islam, which preaches egalitarianism. The Prophet Muhammad himself, who founded the religion here 1,400 years ago, had black companions.

“Our Islamic history has so many famous black people,” said the imam, as he sat leaning his arm on a cushion in the reception room of his home. “It is not like the West.”

It is also true that Saudi Arabia is far more ethnically diverse than most Westerners realize. Saudis with Malaysian or African features are a common sight along the kingdom’s west coast, the descendants of pilgrims who came here over the centuries and ended up staying. Many have prospered and even attained high positions through links to the royal family. Bandar bin Sultan, the former Saudi ambassador to the United States, is the son of Prince Sultan and a dark-skinned concubine from southern Saudi Arabia.

But slavery was practiced here too, and was abolished only in 1962. Many traditional Arabs from Nejd, the central Saudi heartland, used to refer to all outsiders as “tarsh al bahr” — vomit from the sea. People of African descent still face some discrimination, as do most immigrants, even from other Arab countries. Many Saudis complain that the kingdom is still far too dominated by Nejd, the homeland of the royal family. There are nonracial forms of discrimination too, and many Shiite Muslims, a substantial minority, say they are not treated fairly.

“The prophet told us that social classes will remain, because of human nature,” Sheik Adil said gravely. “These are part of the pre-Islamic practices that persist.”

BLACK skin is not the only social obstacle Sheik Adil has overcome. His father came to Saudi Arabia in the 1950s from Ras al Khaima, in what is now the United Arab Emirates, and obtained a job as a low-level government clerk. The family had little money, and after finishing high school, Adil took a job with Saudi Arabian Airlines while attending night classes at King Saud University.

Only later did he study religion, laboriously memorizing the Koran and studying Islamic jurisprudence. In 1984 he passed the government exam to become an imam, and worked briefly at the mosque in the Riyadh airport. Four years later he won a more prominent position as the imam of the King Khalid mosque, a tall white building that is not far from one of the Intelligence Ministry’s offices.

Theologically, Sheik Adil reflects the general evolution of Saudi thinking over the last two decades. During the 1980s he met Osama bin Laden and Abdullah Azzam, a leader of the jihad against the Soviets in Afghanistan. He initially sympathized with their radical position and anger toward the West. Later, he said, he began to find their views narrow, especially after the terrorist attacks of Sept. 11, 2001.

Now he speaks warmly of King Abdullah’s new initiatives, which include efforts to moderate the power of the hard-line religious establishment and to modernize Saudi Arabia’s judiciary and educational establishment. He reads Al Watan, a liberal newspaper.

“Some people in this country want everyone to be a carbon copy,” Sheik Adil said. “This is not my way of thinking. You can learn from the person who is willing to criticize, to give a different point of view.”

His life, like that of most imams, follows a rigid routine: he leads prayers five times a day at the mosque, then walks across the parking lot to his home, which he shares with two wives and 12 children. On Fridays, he gives a sermon as well.

HE expected it to continue that way for the rest of his life. Then in early September he woke up to hear his cellphone and land line, both ringing continuously. Stirring from bed, he heard the administrator of the Grand Mosque leaving a message. He picked up one of the phones, and heard the news that the king had selected him.

Two days later he walked into a grand reception room where he was greeted by Prince Khalid al-Faisal, the governor of Mecca Province. Sheik Adil tried to introduce himself, but the prince cut him off with a smile: “You are known,” he said.

Next, Sheik Adil was led to a table where he sat with King Abdullah and other ministers. He was too shy to address the king directly, but as he left the room he thanked him and kissed him on the nose, a traditional sign of deference.

Remembering the moment, Sheik Adil smiled and went silent. Then he pulled out his laptop and showed a visitor a YouTube clip of him reciting the Koran at the Grand Mosque in Mecca.

“To recite before thousands of people, this is no problem for me,” he said. “But the place, its holiness, is so different from praying anywhere else. In that shrine, there are kings, presidents and ordinary people, all being led in prayer by you as imam. It gives you a feeling of honor, and a fear of almighty God.”

-Taken from the New York Times

Don't Hate Us Because We Are "Just Muslims"

Lately, Muslimah2Muslimah has been thinking a lot about the whole separation of Islam and how it divides the Ummah. What we mean by separate is all of these different sects... Sunni, Sufi, Shia,...

Then, within these groups you have sub-groups; Tablighi Jamaat, Jamaat-e-Islami, Qadris, Ismailis, Akhbaris, Naqshbandis, Shaykhis, Wahhabis and Salafis, to name a few.

Then, there are the many schools of Fiqh (or law): Hanafii, Shafi, Maliki and Hanbali.

Now, what does all of this leave our Prophet Muhammad (SAW)'s beloved Muslim Ummah with? Pure and utter confusion, arguments, division, chaos and everyone thinking that they are right about this or that. We debate each other about things in which we have no solid proof about like which hadith is fake or not, what the Qur'an REALLY means in this ayat or that, how old Aisha (RAH) was when she married the Prophet (SAW), that brother is not a real Muslim because he allws his wife to go to school and/or work, this sister is not a real Muslimah because she wears colors and *gasp* no niqab or gloves???.... and so on and so forth...

It is really sad and shameful how we act towards one another. Muslimah2Muslimah went to certain masjid in Atlanta last Ramadan (the most blessed month) with the intention of making Tawarih prayer with our fellow Muslim sisters and we found ourselves getting the cold shoulder from sisters literally moving away from us while in the ranks and not wanting to pray with us shoulder-to-shoulder.Why? Perhaps to pray with the other sister who looks more like them. Islam is such a beautiful religion but yet some of us make it appear so ugly with the all of the negativity and seclusion form other Muslims because they have different upbringings or read a different hadith book.

As for the different sects and Sunni this, Shia that... which sect was Prophet Muhammad a part of, because we could have sworn that he was JUST A MUSLIM?????? Insha'Allah let us know your thoughts on this very important subject.

MaSalaama,
Najwa&Nadira
Muslimah2Muslimah

Muslimah Must-Haves!!!

The Top 13 Muslimah Must-Haves:

1. Hijabs (Do plain as well as patterns to mix it up)

2. Long sleeve t-shirts (get them in every color you can find!)

3. Mid-thigh/knee-length dresses

4. Long skirts

5. Maxi-dresses

6. Wide leg jeans

7. Slacks

8. Cardigans / jackets

9. Shirt dresses

10. Flat shoes

11. Pins /brooches

12. Abayas

13. A good tailor!

Hijab How To

We received so many compliments on our hijab and questions on how we wear them, we decided to make a Hijab-How-To video. This video shows 4 different ways to wear your hijab that are simple, fly and can all be done with one scarf!

Inshallah this video is helpful and shows some new ways to rock hijab, Subscribe for Hijab-How-To Part 2!

Shukran(thanx) for all the support!!!!!!

Hijabi Recessionista: FIND OF THE WEEK- Fabulous Overgarments & Hijabs

Apologies for the delays with our FIND OF WEEK ladies, we have posted 2 finds for this week!!!!

The overgarments on this site are absolutely beautiful! The have plenty of different abayas and jilbabs as well as other accessories. The overgarments come in various different sizes and lengths. You can even tailor order a overgarment for an extra £5.00(roughly $7.00). The overgarment prices start at around £25.00($30.00) and go up from there. They have overgarments that can be pricey but every hijabi recessionista knows how to take advantage of a good sale, so be sure to check out their reduced prices.

Their overgarments can be found at:
http://www.al-hijaab.com/scripts/prodList.asp?idcategory=69


We found these pashminas from Hijabs Online in all colors ranging from $6.00 and up. They also have amiras, oblongs and kuwaiti and square style scarves. They also offer free shipping with every order!

Their scarves can be found at:
http://www.hijabsonline.com/


Happy Shopping!!!

Nadira & Najwa
Muslimah2Muslimah

Muslim Boyfriend?????

Dating in Islam is an oxymoron, there is no such thing! It's like saying frozen hot chocolate. There are no boyfriends or girlfriends as far as Islam is concerned. This doesn't mean that it doesn't happen this just means that it shouldn't. So I know your like, if I can't date him how do I really get to know the brother that I want to marry?

Well I'm glad you asked, alhumdulilah Allah(swt) has given us guidelines to follow so that we can keep everything on a lawful note. So first things first make sure that you have your standards and know what you are willing to except in your mind first. If you meet a brother and he asks you for YOUR number, he might not be the brother for you. You want a brother who wants to do things the right way and has enough respect for you and himself from jump that he wouldn't even try you like that. It seems simple an innocent, just a phone conversation but even a conversation can lead you into things that you shouldn't do. You talk to the brother, you crack jokes, you start to feel comfortable with him and then he says "why don't we hang out and meet up sometime?". Now this can lead up to you spending time alone with him. If a brother is trying to spend time alone you, it's not a good look.


Whenever a man is alone with a women the shaytan makes the third. (Tirmidhi)


A Muslim man is still a man and eventually you may end up doing things that you know you shouldn't. Avoid this situation and you won't be tempted or end up making a decision that you regret. This is why you should have your Wali in place. Your Wali truly is your protection. If your a revert like me, your Wali can be your Imam or trusted brother in your community. He keeps that brother in line and makes sure that everything is done on the up and up.Not only that but we are women and once you start to like a brother you might catch feelings and not notice some of the red flags. Your Wali is looking out for your best interest and is not going to be blinded by how cute the brother is.

You can have a "sit down" with a brother with you Wali present and ask all of the very important questions(we posted a blog with plenty of questions to ask and questions that you should be prepared to answer). When you are asking these question make sure that you are being honest. This is your way of getting to know each other. Don't just say what you think the brother wants to hear. If he asks you if you can cook, don't say yes if can't even boil water! When you get married he's going to expect you to follow through on what you said. Don't say you wear overgarment and niqab if you don't because he's gonna want to know where all that is when you leave the house without hijab. Be honest so that both know what you are signing up for because once your married you have both signed on that dotted line.

Now if you want to have the "dating" experience you can out as long as you are chaperoned. This means you have your Wali present or someone who is looking out for your best interest. Maybe you feel uncomfortable going out with your father present, you could have another married couple, your brother, etc. chaperon your "date". What you shouldn't do is go out with your homegirl and her boyfriend and call them your chaperons. If they're not doing what they are supposed to be doing, how are they going to make sure that you are? Consider going to public places like restaurants, art exhibits, parks, places where you know other Muslims will be, etc.

We have to make sure that we think long term, dating is what we see everyday around us and it can be tempting. But in the long run you want to make sure you are doing things that are beneficial to you in this life and in the hereafter. The blessings that you will receive, inshallah, from doing things the right way will be well worth the wait.

CLICK THE TITLE OF THIS BLOG TO VIEW THE VIDEO OR GO TO OUR YOUTUBE PAGE TO VIEW THE VIDEO FOR THIS POST http://www.youtube.com/user/Muslimah2Muslimah

Asalaamu alaikum
Nadira
Muslimah2Muslimah

Questions to Ask your Potential Husband

This is a list of questions to ask your future spouse, you can pick and choose or ask them all. Also be prepared to answer many of these questions yourself. The most important thing is to be HONEST with yourself and with the brother, so that you both know what your getting into. Don't say yes of course I wear hijab if you don't because he's going to be looking at you crazy if your Not wearing it. KEEP IT 100%!!!!!!!

What are you expectations of marriage?
What are your goals in life? (long and short term)
Identify three things that you want to accomplish in the near future.
Identify three things that you want to accomplish, long term.
Why have you chosen me/other person as a potential spouse?
What is the role of religion in your life now?
Are you a spiritual person?
What is your understanding of an Islamic marriage?
What are you expecting of your spouse, religiously?
What is your relationship between yourself and the Muslims community in your area?
Are you volunteering in any Islamic activities?
What can you offer your zawj (spouse), spiritually?
What is the role of the husband?
What is the role of the wife?
Do you want to practice polygamy?
What is your relationship with your family?
What do you expect your relationship with the family of your spouse to be?
What do you expect your spouses relationship with your family to be?
Is there anyone in your family living with you now?
Are you planning to have anyone in your family live with you in the future?
If, for any reason, my relationship with your family turns sour, what should be done?
Who are your friends? (Identify at least three.)
How did you get to know them?
Why are they your friends?
What do you like most about them?
What will your relationship with them after marriage be?
Do you have friends of the opposite sex?
What is the level of your relationship with them now?
What will be the level of your relationship with them after marriage?
What type of relationship do you want your spouse to have with your friends?
What are the things that you do in your free time?
Do you love to have guests in your home for entertainment?
What are you expecting from your spouse when your friends come to the house?
What is your opinion of speaking other languages in home that I do not understand? (with friends or family)
Do you travel?
How do you spend your vacations?
How do you think your spouse should spend vacations?
Do you read?
What do you read?
After marriage, do you think that you are one to express romantic feelings verbally?
After marriage, do you think that you want to express affection in public?
How do you express your admiration for someone that you know now?
How do you express your feelings to someone who has done a favor for you?
Do you like to write your feelings?
If you wrong someone, how do you apologize?
If someone has wronged you, how do you want (s)he to apologize to you?
How much time passes before you can forgive someone?
How do you make important and less important decisions in your life?
Do you use foul language at home? In public? With family?
Do your friends use foul language?
Does your family use foul language?
How do you express anger?
How do you expect your spouse to express anger?
What do you do when you are angry?
When do you think it is appropriate to initiate mediation in marriage?
When there is a dispute in your marriage, religious or otherwise, how should the conflict get resolved?
Define mental, verbal, emotional and physical abuse.
What would you do if you felt that you had been abused?
Who would you call for assistance if you were being abused?
Do you suffer from any chronic disease or condition?
Are you willing to take a physical exam by a physician before marriage?
What is your understanding of proper health and nutrition?
How do you support your own health and nutrition?
What is you definition of wealth?
How do you spend money?
How do you save money?
How do you think that your use of money will change after marriage?
Do you have any debts now? If so, how are you making progress to eliminate them?
Do you use credit cards?
Do you support the idea of taking loans to buy a new home?
What are you expecting from your spouse financially?
What is your financial responsibility in the marriage?
Do you support the idea of a working wife?
If so, how do you think a dual-income family should manage funds?
Do you currently use a budget to manage your finances?
Who are the people to whom you are financially responsible?
Do you support the idea of utilizing baby sitters and/or maids?
Do you want to have children? If not, how come?
To the best of your understanding, are you able to have children?
Do you want to have children in the first two years of marriage? If not, when?
Do you believe in abortion?
Do you have children now?
What is your relationship with your children now?
What is your relationship with their other parent?
What relationship do you expect your spouse to have with your children and their parent?
What is the best method(s) of raising children?
What is the best method(s) of disciplining children?
How were you raised?
How were you disciplined?
Do you believe in spanking children? Under what circumstances?
Do you believe in public school for your children?
Do you believe in Islamic school for your children?
Do you believe in home schooling for your children?
What type of relationship should your children have with non-Muslim classmates/friends?
Would you send your children to visit their extended family if they lived in another state or country?
What type of relationship do you want your children to have with all their grandparents?
If there are members of my family that are not Muslim, that are of different race or culture, what type of relationship do you want to have with them?


Happy question asking!

Asalaamu alaikum
Nadira & Najwa
Muslimah2Muslimah