Okay, So He's An Attractive, Single Muslim Brother...

I wonder if he is single or is he married? Is he a match for me? Wouldn't we make such a dashing Muslim couple!?!?

This a dilemma many single Muslimahs have quite often. However, society tells us that the man should approach the woman, or in Islamic standards, the Wali. What about the Muslimahs who spot a brother she is interested in? Do they just sit back and pray that he makes the move?

During the days of the Prophet Muhammad (SAW), women approached men quite often for marriage. As a matter of fact, it is noted that when he was 25 years old, Muhammad (SAW)received a marriage proposal from a wealthy Meccan woman, Khadījah bint al-Khuwaylid, whose affairs he was conducting.

But nowadays it seems rather taboo for a sister to approach a brother regarding marriage. So, what is a sister to do???

What are YOUR opinions on this? Would you approach a brother you were interested in? If so, how would you go about doing it? Would you send your wali after him?

Asalaamu alaikum

Najwa & Nadira

Muslimah2Muslimah

Muslimah2Muslimah New Shahadah Interview: Alula!!!

In Muslimah2Muslimah's experience of reverts to Islam, we think the transitions of one's thoughts, opinions, and behavior, in fact a whole transformation of one's perspective in life is very interesting. Alula is one of our tweet buddies on Twitter and also a fellow blogger! You can check out her blog at: http://bchantae.blogspot.com/. It is called "life of an African-American Muslimah."

The negative image presented about Islam since 9-11 here in the states has really given Islam a bad name due to the media as well as people's lack of understanding. The stereotypes about the treatment of women has been rampant in the media for many years with the Taliban and other "extremist" groups. We thought it would be interesting to interview Alula, who in the midst of all propaganda has warmly embraced Islam and get her Muslimah's Perspective on Islam...

Muslimah2Muslimah: What is your name?
Alula: Alula Bruinton

Muslimah2Muslimah: What made you become interested in Islam?
Alula: In my African- American Studies class we were studying Islam. We didn't go as into-depth as I wanted to, so I studied the deen on my own. After studying the deen, I enjoyed it and made a decision to convert.

Muslimah2Muslimah: What does your family think about your decision?
Alula: In my first few months my family was not very supportive at all. A lot of my family still doesn't accept it, but my mother is getting a lot better at atleast trying to understand and accept it. Christianity is very strong in my family, I only have one muslim cousin and I see here like once every 5 years, so it's very hard for me and my family to agree on Islam.

Muslimah2Muslimah: What types of reactions have you gotten from your friends or coworkers?
Alula: My close friends and co-workers are very supportive of my decision! One of my very close friends has offered to not engage in any activitied or enviornments that I can't so that it won't be hard for me and I will feel comfortable. I'm very happy and greatful for that! I am interested to see how my other friends and classmates will react with me being the only muslimah on campus. It will be a big change for them, and that will be how I can tell who my real friends are.

Muslimah2Muslimah: How has Islam changed your life?
Alula: Being a young converted muslimah, Islam has brought me a lot of life changes. Islam has brought me so much peace and understanding. I understand Islam so much more than I understood Christianity, and I enjoy it being all about Allah and I.

Muslimah2Muslimah: What advice would you give to someone who is interested in Islam?
Alula: I would encourage them to come to Islam and study the deen and make sure they are ready to committ themselves to Allah and the deen. Islam comes with many changes for most young converters, but these changes are definately for the better!

Muslimah2Muslimah: Islamically, women are required to wear a hijab. Others say that you must also cover your face(niqab). What are your thoughts on this?
Alula: I personally prefer hijab over niqab. It took me a while to make the decision to wear hijab and get used to it, but I love hijab and I'm glad that I made the decision to wear it.

Muslimah2Muslimah: How did you feel the first time you wore hijab?
Alula: I felt good the first time I wore hijab. I did feel as though a lot of people were staring at me, but other than that, I felt great about it.

Muslimah2Muslimah: What is your opinion on the common labels associated with Muslims ("terrorists", "extremists" , etc.)?
Alula: I don't like or agree with these labels at all. Islam is a religion of peace. I know I can't change everyone's minds about their opinions, but I would like to prove people wrong about these misconceptions and open their minds to be more diverse and accepting.

Muslimah2Muslimah: What is your view on the impression that many non-Muslims have that Islam oppresses the women and the women have no voice in their communities?
Alula: I don't believe that Islam oppresses women at all. If people studied more and tried to understand and research the things they judge so much, they would have more insight on the situations and opionions they made.

Muslimah2Muslimah: The media tends to give very negative views on women and many non-Muslims base their views solely on this. What was your view on Islam and the treatment of women before you converted to Islam?
Alula: I honestly thought different from the media and negative views they had on Islam and the women. I have never had a problem with Islam or Muslims and Muslim women. I am a very open and diverse person and I love that about myself. I am in no way judgemental like the majority of the world. I still have the same thoughts and feelings after converting.

Muslimah2Muslimah: Has your view changed in any way?
Alula: Not at all. If anything my love and understanding has grown more for Islam and the muslimahs, especially the young muslimahs like myself out here in the world. We aren't perfect and it's hard in the day and age we live in to be the modest women that we are and have to be Masha'Allah.

Muslimah2Muslimah: How has Muslimah2Muslimah helped you along your journey to Islam?
Alula: Muslimah2Muslimah has helped me a lot. They've helped me strive to be a better muslimah. I never would've imagined that the Hijabi look would be for me, but I've grown into it and if I hadn't found Muslimah2Muslimah or the Muslimahs that I made friends with off the site, I would be a confused and lost muslimah. I also appreciate Muslimah2Muslimah helping me find hijabs where I live (lol), I was having the hardest time with that.

~Insha'allah, everyone... please pray for our new little sister Alula and welcome her into Islam by leaving her your encouragement and wisdom, insha'allah! We are very pleased with her decision as we know she is as well. Alula, may Allah bless you and your family in all of your endeavors and may He grant you Jannatul Firdaus! Ameen!

Don't Hate Us Because We Are "Just Muslims"

Lately, Muslimah2Muslimah has been thinking a lot about the whole separation of Islam and how it divides the Ummah. What we mean by separate is all of these different sects... Sunni, Sufi, Shia,...

Then, within these groups you have sub-groups; Tablighi Jamaat, Jamaat-e-Islami, Qadris, Ismailis, Akhbaris, Naqshbandis, Shaykhis, Wahhabis and Salafis, to name a few.

Then, there are the many schools of Fiqh (or law): Hanafii, Shafi, Maliki and Hanbali.

Now, what does all of this leave our Prophet Muhammad (SAW)'s beloved Muslim Ummah with? Pure and utter confusion, arguments, division, chaos and everyone thinking that they are right about this or that. We debate each other about things in which we have no solid proof about like which hadith is fake or not, what the Qur'an REALLY means in this ayat or that, how old Aisha (RAH) was when she married the Prophet (SAW), that brother is not a real Muslim because he allws his wife to go to school and/or work, this sister is not a real Muslimah because she wears colors and *gasp* no niqab or gloves???.... and so on and so forth...

It is really sad and shameful how we act towards one another. Muslimah2Muslimah went to certain masjid in Atlanta last Ramadan (the most blessed month) with the intention of making Tawarih prayer with our fellow Muslim sisters and we found ourselves getting the cold shoulder from sisters literally moving away from us while in the ranks and not wanting to pray with us shoulder-to-shoulder.Why? Perhaps to pray with the other sister who looks more like them. Islam is such a beautiful religion but yet some of us make it appear so ugly with the all of the negativity and seclusion form other Muslims because they have different upbringings or read a different hadith book.

As for the different sects and Sunni this, Shia that... which sect was Prophet Muhammad a part of, because we could have sworn that he was JUST A MUSLIM?????? Insha'Allah let us know your thoughts on this very important subject.

MaSalaama,
Najwa&Nadira
Muslimah2Muslimah

Muslimah Perspective: There aren't any good men out there!!

Salaams, darling! Meet your new co-wife!?!?!

Last night my hubby's friend came over for dinner and after the usual conversation and after-dinner tea, the friend wanted for hubby to go to a wedding to be a witness. I thought;






"A wedding??? At 11pm on a Tuesday???"






So hubby leaves the house with said friend and gets me thinking. What the heck is this man doing getting married at this ungodly hour on a whim? Now mind you, said groom-to-be already has two other wives. One over seas and the other here in the states, who lives with him. Okay, so my next question was;



"Are wife #1 and wife #2 aware of their beloved husband's decision to marry #3?"






Now my thing is this: Okay, we all know that a man can have up to four wives... however, this got me to thinking that some men really abuse this right. They fail to maintain some of these women in the right ways and they are always talking about looking for another wife. I may be wrong but I don't think that is right. How is a married man "looking" for another wife??? I thought that polygamy was a situation in which a man marries due to a circumstance in which there is a sister who may be widowed of divorced and has no money or place to go with her and her children. Or perhaps a woman who is interested in a married man and vice versa and the man decides to marry the woman because of his interest.

However, I doubt that a man who is constantly on the prowl for another woman is allowed in Islam. And another thing, some men even go so far as to hang out with and go on dates with different women with the excuse that they are allowed to have another wife, so why not get to know as many women as possible to look for the perfect #2, #3 or #4? To me, this behavior is absurd and trifling. I think that any man who has respect for his wife, children or himself would not carry on like some single non-Muslim teenager.

If my husband ever decided to go and get a second wife (which is highly doubtful), I would at least expect him to come to me and let me know about his decision... It's only right in my eyes... Anyhow, that's enough of MY ranting... What do YOU guys think?

As-Salaamu-Alaikum,

Najwa

***For the record we at Muslimah2Muslimah, belive that polygyny is sunnah and is a beautiful part of Islam, we are in no way saying that it shouldn't be praticed. The point here is that it would be nice to included in the process***

You're ready to get married... now what?

You have reached a point in your life were you've decided your ready to get married for the sake of Allah, alhumdulillah! Now the question is: How do you choose your husband? Well, first things first you have to know what you SHOULD be looking for in a husband.

I know so many sisters who have a very very very detailed list of what exactly they are looking for. These lists include info such as how much money he makes, what type of car he drives, what level of education he has, what type of house will he be able to buy her, will he be able to take her on vacations, will he provide her money to shop with, his nationality, his height, his hair, his skin color, the arch of his eyebrows, how big his ears are, if his 2nd toe is longer than the rest........okay I'm exaggerating a bit now. My point is so many times I see sisters put the emphasis of their search solely on the monetary aspects or they limit their options to doctors and lawyers. My dear sisters, you are doing yourself a great disservice if you approach you search for a husband focusing on material things. The Prophet (saw) said:

“If there comes to you one whose religious commitment and character pleases you, then marry [your female relative who is under your care] to him, for if you do
not do that, there will be tribulation on earth and much corruption.”[Al-Tirmidhi]

Of course you want your husband to be able to provide for you because that is one of your rights, but more importantly you want to make sure that he is religious. You want to make sure that he is living every day for the sake of Allah. This is the type of man who you will want to spend the rest of your life with. This is the type of man who will encourage both success in this life and in the hereafter. If he does not have a lot of money, don't worry sisters. If you trust in Allah, he will provide. We know this from the following verse:

"If they be poor, Allah will enrich them out of His Bounty. And Allah is All‑Sufficient for His creatures’ needs, All‑Knowing (about the state of the
people)”[al-Noor 24:32]

Don't pass on a good brother because he's not "ballin" or "paid". With that said there is nothing wrong with wanting to marry a doctor, lawyer, etc. just make sure that is not #1 on your list of the ideal husband. Now if you find a doctor, lawyer, etc. who is pious and lives every day for the sake of Allah, please post where you found him and where other muslimahs should go for duplicates of him! LOL...just kidding.

To sum it all up sisters, seek a husband who puts his deen first and foremost in his life and then worry about everything else. If you do inshallah everything else will fall in to place. One last note is to broaden you search, you have plenty of options available to you! Look further than down the street and around the corner. You never know what city, state or country your future husband may be in or is from. I here sisters say there's no brothers out there, but there are plenty of Muslim men and you may want to consider being a co-wife (not for every sister, but it's a option). Inshallah, we will talk more about this in another blog.

As usual this is our viewpoint at M2M and we would love to her your opinion, feedback and suggestions.

As-salaamu alaikum!

Najwa&Nadira

Muslimah Perspective

This is the first of many series of videos concerning many topics discussing religion, society, politics, fashion and relationships. It is a series called "the Muslimah Persective" it can be found on on YouTube at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DnxSQ_KU8T4 Help support the Muslimah Perspective by sharing with your friends and finding us on YouTube! Feel free to leave comments on whether or not you agree with this video. As-Salaamu-Alaikum!