The Muslimah in the Mirror...

Many Muslimahs are soooo judgmental about one another. Usually, I have found that it is on such a superficial nature. It is usually based on opinions of hijab (or lack thereof), whether a sister plucks her eyebrows, wears makeup, wears nail polish, etc. Why do we not look at any other side of the coin? Many of us who are placing judgment on others are the same ones who don't know how to greet a house guest or how to associate with neighbors. These are the same people who only know one surah or don't know how to make wudu correctly. It has become an epidemic! We have to remember that we need to look within our own hearts before we even think about putting another woman in her place...

So, what do you think about this? Do you find that we judge each other on outerward appearance only? What is the obsession with the superficial?

As Salaamu Alaikum

Najwa

Keeping Your Marriage Fresh With the "Five Senses Rule"

"And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): verily in that are Signs for those who reflect."

(Quran: Ar-Rum 21)

1. Sight- Always beautify yourself. Make sure your clothing is nice, your hair is done and your makeup looks just right (if you wear it).

2. Hearing- Always greet your hubby with a sweet voice and leave any bad news for later. Never speak in a loud, boisterous manner. Don't try to engage is gossip or trivial conversations. Keep positive, Islamic conversations going and things that your hubby has interest in. Leave the other stuff for your girlfriends.

3. Touch- Make sure your body, your bedsheets are nice to the touch. This could mean shaving your legs or using a nice moisturizer. Using downy softener sheets or changing to Egyptian cotton or satin.

4. Smell- Never have a bad smell in the house. While you cook, be sure to open the windows and afterwards be sure to light a candle, burn oils or incense, or spray a room freshener. Also, change your clothes if you have been cooking meat or onions. Make sure you keep up your hygiene and make a habit of brushing your teeth and spraying perfume on the back of your neck, behind your ears and any other place you can think of before bed. ;-)

5. Taste- Try new recipes for variety and master the dishes he enjoys the most. Be sure that dinner is always ready before he makes it home. No man likes to come home on an empty stomach only to find nothing waiting for him on the stove.
what things would YOU add to this? what do YOU do to keep your hubby happy???

Asalaamu alaikum

Nadira & Najwa

Rock It or Stop It: One Eye Niqab

There are many Muslimahs who wear hijab and niqab. Niqabs come in a variety of designs such as: ones with strings in the middle, multiple layers and sheer covers over the eyes. What about a niqab that also covers one eye?


O Prophet! Tell your wives and your daughters and the women of the believers to draw their cloaks(veils) all over their bodies(i.e. screen themselves completely except the eyes or one eye to see the way). That will better, that they should be known (as free respectable women) so as not to be annoyed. And Allah is the Ever Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful. (Quran 33:59)

niqab found at Shadiyah's Boutique

So what you do think of the one eye niqab? Do you see any benefit in it? Have you worn one? Do you own any? Would you wear it? If yes, why? If no, why not?

ROCK IT OR STOP IT?

COMMENT AND LET US KNOW WHAT YOU THINK

Asalaamu alaikum

Nadira & Najwa

Muslimah2Muslimah

So, Why the Heck Are All You Guys Wearing A Pink Hijab Today??

Okay, so today was Pink Hijab Day (yay!). So, as always there are the skeptical

"I-only-wear-black-because-it's-Sunnah-and-I-don't-see-the-point-in-doing-something-that-is-not-sunnah-and-that-type-of-thing-is-bid'ah"

crowd. Then, there are the ones who say;

"what is being gained by me just wearing a pink hijab? What point is that going to make? Who is benefiting from that? Why not just give money?"

Well... to these people we say this: What is wrong with helping to spread awareness about a certain cause? What is wrong with unifying Muslims on one day to not only give da'wah about Islam but also to put a smile on someone's face? Many men and women not only wore pink hijabs, pins or ribbons but also went to cancer treatment centers, did a charity run/walk, donated money and helped to raise money for many different cancer victims around the globe.

Islam is all about charity, kindness and compassion. If you showed your kindness today by doing anything such as making a du'a or giving in charity or just showing your support by wearing something pink this month for any woman in the world or any family who is dealing with cancer then may Allah reward you with Jannah-tul-firdaus! Ameen.

Narrated by ‘Aishah Allah’s Messenger said:

“Allah is Kind and He loves kindness, and confers upon kindness which He does not confer upon severity, and does not confer upon any thing besides it (kindness).” (Sahih Muslim)

Asalaamu alaikum

Najwa & Nadira

mail@Muslimah2Muslimah.com

http://www.blogger.com/www.Muslimah2Muslimah.com

Okay, So He's An Attractive, Single Muslim Brother...

I wonder if he is single or is he married? Is he a match for me? Wouldn't we make such a dashing Muslim couple!?!?

This a dilemma many single Muslimahs have quite often. However, society tells us that the man should approach the woman, or in Islamic standards, the Wali. What about the Muslimahs who spot a brother she is interested in? Do they just sit back and pray that he makes the move?

During the days of the Prophet Muhammad (SAW), women approached men quite often for marriage. As a matter of fact, it is noted that when he was 25 years old, Muhammad (SAW)received a marriage proposal from a wealthy Meccan woman, Khadījah bint al-Khuwaylid, whose affairs he was conducting.

But nowadays it seems rather taboo for a sister to approach a brother regarding marriage. So, what is a sister to do???

What are YOUR opinions on this? Would you approach a brother you were interested in? If so, how would you go about doing it? Would you send your wali after him?

Asalaamu alaikum

Najwa & Nadira

Muslimah2Muslimah

Muslimah2Muslimah New Shahadah Interview: Alula!!!

In Muslimah2Muslimah's experience of reverts to Islam, we think the transitions of one's thoughts, opinions, and behavior, in fact a whole transformation of one's perspective in life is very interesting. Alula is one of our tweet buddies on Twitter and also a fellow blogger! You can check out her blog at: http://bchantae.blogspot.com/. It is called "life of an African-American Muslimah."

The negative image presented about Islam since 9-11 here in the states has really given Islam a bad name due to the media as well as people's lack of understanding. The stereotypes about the treatment of women has been rampant in the media for many years with the Taliban and other "extremist" groups. We thought it would be interesting to interview Alula, who in the midst of all propaganda has warmly embraced Islam and get her Muslimah's Perspective on Islam...

Muslimah2Muslimah: What is your name?
Alula: Alula Bruinton

Muslimah2Muslimah: What made you become interested in Islam?
Alula: In my African- American Studies class we were studying Islam. We didn't go as into-depth as I wanted to, so I studied the deen on my own. After studying the deen, I enjoyed it and made a decision to convert.

Muslimah2Muslimah: What does your family think about your decision?
Alula: In my first few months my family was not very supportive at all. A lot of my family still doesn't accept it, but my mother is getting a lot better at atleast trying to understand and accept it. Christianity is very strong in my family, I only have one muslim cousin and I see here like once every 5 years, so it's very hard for me and my family to agree on Islam.

Muslimah2Muslimah: What types of reactions have you gotten from your friends or coworkers?
Alula: My close friends and co-workers are very supportive of my decision! One of my very close friends has offered to not engage in any activitied or enviornments that I can't so that it won't be hard for me and I will feel comfortable. I'm very happy and greatful for that! I am interested to see how my other friends and classmates will react with me being the only muslimah on campus. It will be a big change for them, and that will be how I can tell who my real friends are.

Muslimah2Muslimah: How has Islam changed your life?
Alula: Being a young converted muslimah, Islam has brought me a lot of life changes. Islam has brought me so much peace and understanding. I understand Islam so much more than I understood Christianity, and I enjoy it being all about Allah and I.

Muslimah2Muslimah: What advice would you give to someone who is interested in Islam?
Alula: I would encourage them to come to Islam and study the deen and make sure they are ready to committ themselves to Allah and the deen. Islam comes with many changes for most young converters, but these changes are definately for the better!

Muslimah2Muslimah: Islamically, women are required to wear a hijab. Others say that you must also cover your face(niqab). What are your thoughts on this?
Alula: I personally prefer hijab over niqab. It took me a while to make the decision to wear hijab and get used to it, but I love hijab and I'm glad that I made the decision to wear it.

Muslimah2Muslimah: How did you feel the first time you wore hijab?
Alula: I felt good the first time I wore hijab. I did feel as though a lot of people were staring at me, but other than that, I felt great about it.

Muslimah2Muslimah: What is your opinion on the common labels associated with Muslims ("terrorists", "extremists" , etc.)?
Alula: I don't like or agree with these labels at all. Islam is a religion of peace. I know I can't change everyone's minds about their opinions, but I would like to prove people wrong about these misconceptions and open their minds to be more diverse and accepting.

Muslimah2Muslimah: What is your view on the impression that many non-Muslims have that Islam oppresses the women and the women have no voice in their communities?
Alula: I don't believe that Islam oppresses women at all. If people studied more and tried to understand and research the things they judge so much, they would have more insight on the situations and opionions they made.

Muslimah2Muslimah: The media tends to give very negative views on women and many non-Muslims base their views solely on this. What was your view on Islam and the treatment of women before you converted to Islam?
Alula: I honestly thought different from the media and negative views they had on Islam and the women. I have never had a problem with Islam or Muslims and Muslim women. I am a very open and diverse person and I love that about myself. I am in no way judgemental like the majority of the world. I still have the same thoughts and feelings after converting.

Muslimah2Muslimah: Has your view changed in any way?
Alula: Not at all. If anything my love and understanding has grown more for Islam and the muslimahs, especially the young muslimahs like myself out here in the world. We aren't perfect and it's hard in the day and age we live in to be the modest women that we are and have to be Masha'Allah.

Muslimah2Muslimah: How has Muslimah2Muslimah helped you along your journey to Islam?
Alula: Muslimah2Muslimah has helped me a lot. They've helped me strive to be a better muslimah. I never would've imagined that the Hijabi look would be for me, but I've grown into it and if I hadn't found Muslimah2Muslimah or the Muslimahs that I made friends with off the site, I would be a confused and lost muslimah. I also appreciate Muslimah2Muslimah helping me find hijabs where I live (lol), I was having the hardest time with that.

~Insha'allah, everyone... please pray for our new little sister Alula and welcome her into Islam by leaving her your encouragement and wisdom, insha'allah! We are very pleased with her decision as we know she is as well. Alula, may Allah bless you and your family in all of your endeavors and may He grant you Jannatul Firdaus! Ameen!

What Do You See When You Look At Me?

What do you see when you look at me,

Do you see someone limited, or someone free,

All some people can do is just look and stare,

Simply because they cant see my hair,

Others think I am controlled and uneducated,

They are so thankful that they are not me,

Because they would like to remain ‘free’,

Well free isn’t exactly the word I would’ve used,

Describing women who are cheated on and abused,

They think that I do not have opinions or voice,

They think that being hooded isn’t my choice,

They think that the hood makes me look caged,

That my husband or dad is totally outraged,

All they can do is look at me in fear,

And in my eye there is a tear,

Not because I have been stared at or made fun of,

But because people are ignoring the One up above,

On the Day of Judgment they will be the fools,

Because they were too ashamed to play by their own rules,

Maybe the guys won’t think I am a cutie,

But at least I am filled with more inner beauty,

See I have declined from being a guy’s toy,

Because I won’t let my self be controlled by a boy,

Real men are able to appreciate my mind,

And aren’t busy looking at my behind,

Hooded girls are the ones really helping the Muslim cause,

The role that we play definitely deserves applause,

I will be recognized because I am smart and bright,

And because some people are inspired by my sight,

The smart ones are attracted by my tranquility,

In the back of their mind they wish they were me,

We have the strength to do what we think is right,

Even if it means putting up a life long fight,

You see we are not controlled by a mini skirt and tight shirt,

We are given only respect, and never treated like dirt,

So you see, we are the ones that are free and liberated,

We are not the ones that are sexually terrorized and violated,

We are the ones that are free and pure,

We’re free of STD ’s that have no cure,

So when people ask you how you feel about the hood,

Just sum it up by saying ‘baby its all good’.

-Author Unknown

The Muslimah Bikini... Would YOU Wear One???

Okay, we all love the beach and the sun and the water... But how can we go about doing this while still being modest? Very simple... the Bodykini! This swimsuit is a two-piece with long sleeves with attached hood/hijab and long pants with a small pocket. It is made with polyester /spandex mix. It offers protection from UV rays, has low water absorbency, quick drying, resistant to sea salt, and ensures maximum comfort thanks to “four-way” stretch technology.

Question is, would you guys wear one??? Do you think it is cute or ugly? Is it modest enough,or would you want more coverage? Less coverage? Let us know!

These swimsuits can be found at : http://bodykini.com/ for US $115.06 or EU €89.00.

Don't Hate Us Because We Are "Just Muslims"

Lately, Muslimah2Muslimah has been thinking a lot about the whole separation of Islam and how it divides the Ummah. What we mean by separate is all of these different sects... Sunni, Sufi, Shia,...

Then, within these groups you have sub-groups; Tablighi Jamaat, Jamaat-e-Islami, Qadris, Ismailis, Akhbaris, Naqshbandis, Shaykhis, Wahhabis and Salafis, to name a few.

Then, there are the many schools of Fiqh (or law): Hanafii, Shafi, Maliki and Hanbali.

Now, what does all of this leave our Prophet Muhammad (SAW)'s beloved Muslim Ummah with? Pure and utter confusion, arguments, division, chaos and everyone thinking that they are right about this or that. We debate each other about things in which we have no solid proof about like which hadith is fake or not, what the Qur'an REALLY means in this ayat or that, how old Aisha (RAH) was when she married the Prophet (SAW), that brother is not a real Muslim because he allws his wife to go to school and/or work, this sister is not a real Muslimah because she wears colors and *gasp* no niqab or gloves???.... and so on and so forth...

It is really sad and shameful how we act towards one another. Muslimah2Muslimah went to certain masjid in Atlanta last Ramadan (the most blessed month) with the intention of making Tawarih prayer with our fellow Muslim sisters and we found ourselves getting the cold shoulder from sisters literally moving away from us while in the ranks and not wanting to pray with us shoulder-to-shoulder.Why? Perhaps to pray with the other sister who looks more like them. Islam is such a beautiful religion but yet some of us make it appear so ugly with the all of the negativity and seclusion form other Muslims because they have different upbringings or read a different hadith book.

As for the different sects and Sunni this, Shia that... which sect was Prophet Muhammad a part of, because we could have sworn that he was JUST A MUSLIM?????? Insha'Allah let us know your thoughts on this very important subject.

MaSalaama,
Najwa&Nadira
Muslimah2Muslimah

Questions to Ask your Potential Husband

This is a list of questions to ask your future spouse, you can pick and choose or ask them all. Also be prepared to answer many of these questions yourself. The most important thing is to be HONEST with yourself and with the brother, so that you both know what your getting into. Don't say yes of course I wear hijab if you don't because he's going to be looking at you crazy if your Not wearing it. KEEP IT 100%!!!!!!!

What are you expectations of marriage?
What are your goals in life? (long and short term)
Identify three things that you want to accomplish in the near future.
Identify three things that you want to accomplish, long term.
Why have you chosen me/other person as a potential spouse?
What is the role of religion in your life now?
Are you a spiritual person?
What is your understanding of an Islamic marriage?
What are you expecting of your spouse, religiously?
What is your relationship between yourself and the Muslims community in your area?
Are you volunteering in any Islamic activities?
What can you offer your zawj (spouse), spiritually?
What is the role of the husband?
What is the role of the wife?
Do you want to practice polygamy?
What is your relationship with your family?
What do you expect your relationship with the family of your spouse to be?
What do you expect your spouses relationship with your family to be?
Is there anyone in your family living with you now?
Are you planning to have anyone in your family live with you in the future?
If, for any reason, my relationship with your family turns sour, what should be done?
Who are your friends? (Identify at least three.)
How did you get to know them?
Why are they your friends?
What do you like most about them?
What will your relationship with them after marriage be?
Do you have friends of the opposite sex?
What is the level of your relationship with them now?
What will be the level of your relationship with them after marriage?
What type of relationship do you want your spouse to have with your friends?
What are the things that you do in your free time?
Do you love to have guests in your home for entertainment?
What are you expecting from your spouse when your friends come to the house?
What is your opinion of speaking other languages in home that I do not understand? (with friends or family)
Do you travel?
How do you spend your vacations?
How do you think your spouse should spend vacations?
Do you read?
What do you read?
After marriage, do you think that you are one to express romantic feelings verbally?
After marriage, do you think that you want to express affection in public?
How do you express your admiration for someone that you know now?
How do you express your feelings to someone who has done a favor for you?
Do you like to write your feelings?
If you wrong someone, how do you apologize?
If someone has wronged you, how do you want (s)he to apologize to you?
How much time passes before you can forgive someone?
How do you make important and less important decisions in your life?
Do you use foul language at home? In public? With family?
Do your friends use foul language?
Does your family use foul language?
How do you express anger?
How do you expect your spouse to express anger?
What do you do when you are angry?
When do you think it is appropriate to initiate mediation in marriage?
When there is a dispute in your marriage, religious or otherwise, how should the conflict get resolved?
Define mental, verbal, emotional and physical abuse.
What would you do if you felt that you had been abused?
Who would you call for assistance if you were being abused?
Do you suffer from any chronic disease or condition?
Are you willing to take a physical exam by a physician before marriage?
What is your understanding of proper health and nutrition?
How do you support your own health and nutrition?
What is you definition of wealth?
How do you spend money?
How do you save money?
How do you think that your use of money will change after marriage?
Do you have any debts now? If so, how are you making progress to eliminate them?
Do you use credit cards?
Do you support the idea of taking loans to buy a new home?
What are you expecting from your spouse financially?
What is your financial responsibility in the marriage?
Do you support the idea of a working wife?
If so, how do you think a dual-income family should manage funds?
Do you currently use a budget to manage your finances?
Who are the people to whom you are financially responsible?
Do you support the idea of utilizing baby sitters and/or maids?
Do you want to have children? If not, how come?
To the best of your understanding, are you able to have children?
Do you want to have children in the first two years of marriage? If not, when?
Do you believe in abortion?
Do you have children now?
What is your relationship with your children now?
What is your relationship with their other parent?
What relationship do you expect your spouse to have with your children and their parent?
What is the best method(s) of raising children?
What is the best method(s) of disciplining children?
How were you raised?
How were you disciplined?
Do you believe in spanking children? Under what circumstances?
Do you believe in public school for your children?
Do you believe in Islamic school for your children?
Do you believe in home schooling for your children?
What type of relationship should your children have with non-Muslim classmates/friends?
Would you send your children to visit their extended family if they lived in another state or country?
What type of relationship do you want your children to have with all their grandparents?
If there are members of my family that are not Muslim, that are of different race or culture, what type of relationship do you want to have with them?


Happy question asking!

Asalaamu alaikum
Nadira & Najwa
Muslimah2Muslimah

To pluck or not to pluck... that is the question!!!

Okay, so I was talking to my sister-in-law and also got inspired by a comment on one of my favorite blogs called "The Life of a Hijabista". Now in this blog, the sister was talking about how she learned how to thread her eyebrows. Also, my sister-in-law was told by one of her friends that women are forbidden to pluck, thread, shave, wax, burn off (okay, I'm taking it far with that one, lol)... basically grooming eyebrows are unlawful in Islam. Now, I have personally heard it from all angles. I've heard people say everything from this scholar to this sheikh to that hadith or ayat of Qur'an about whether a woman is or is not allowed to alter the shape of her brows.

Now personally, I have been getting my bi-weekly eyebrow wax since I was 16 years old. I know that I happen to have darn near a uni-brow otherwise and absolutely feel just pure mannish without having nice, shapely, feminine brows. Not to mention the fact that I think I might scare my husband by looking like the pic on the top left!!! Islam is my religion that I love so much and has been since birth. Sometimes I feel as though people take it a bit far to the left side of this and hardly ever come up with any valuable proof, or dalil regarding certain matters. I have no intention of purposely defying what Allah makes halal or haram but I would like to hear your opinions regarding this matter.

I think wearing a hijab and clothing that does not show off the shape of my body is taking a huge step. Not to mention not wearing polish, perfume (as some say), high heels (as some say) or wearing makeup (as some more say, lol). Now after I am stripped of all of my feminine vices, can I not just go and enjoy having my big, manly eyebrows waxed??? Am I asking too much here??? Okay, sorry... Comments please?

As-Salaamu-Alaikum,

Najwa

Muslimah Perspective: There aren't any good men out there!!

Salaams, darling! Meet your new co-wife!?!?!

Last night my hubby's friend came over for dinner and after the usual conversation and after-dinner tea, the friend wanted for hubby to go to a wedding to be a witness. I thought;






"A wedding??? At 11pm on a Tuesday???"






So hubby leaves the house with said friend and gets me thinking. What the heck is this man doing getting married at this ungodly hour on a whim? Now mind you, said groom-to-be already has two other wives. One over seas and the other here in the states, who lives with him. Okay, so my next question was;



"Are wife #1 and wife #2 aware of their beloved husband's decision to marry #3?"






Now my thing is this: Okay, we all know that a man can have up to four wives... however, this got me to thinking that some men really abuse this right. They fail to maintain some of these women in the right ways and they are always talking about looking for another wife. I may be wrong but I don't think that is right. How is a married man "looking" for another wife??? I thought that polygamy was a situation in which a man marries due to a circumstance in which there is a sister who may be widowed of divorced and has no money or place to go with her and her children. Or perhaps a woman who is interested in a married man and vice versa and the man decides to marry the woman because of his interest.

However, I doubt that a man who is constantly on the prowl for another woman is allowed in Islam. And another thing, some men even go so far as to hang out with and go on dates with different women with the excuse that they are allowed to have another wife, so why not get to know as many women as possible to look for the perfect #2, #3 or #4? To me, this behavior is absurd and trifling. I think that any man who has respect for his wife, children or himself would not carry on like some single non-Muslim teenager.

If my husband ever decided to go and get a second wife (which is highly doubtful), I would at least expect him to come to me and let me know about his decision... It's only right in my eyes... Anyhow, that's enough of MY ranting... What do YOU guys think?

As-Salaamu-Alaikum,

Najwa

***For the record we at Muslimah2Muslimah, belive that polygyny is sunnah and is a beautiful part of Islam, we are in no way saying that it shouldn't be praticed. The point here is that it would be nice to included in the process***