Insha' Allah this we be a new feature we will do every Sunday, starting May 23rd, 2010. If you have a question that we haven't covered yet i.e salah, fasting, hijab, Ramadan, marriage, etc. this is your opportunity to ask us. You can also send us questions if you have a specific question for either Nadira or Najwa. Send us an email to mail@muslimah2muslimah.com with the subject of Ask M2M. If you want to remain anonymous just let us know when you send the email.
We have been working on getting our Big Sister Program for quite some time. We still have a lot of work to do to get things going, but we have been receiving a lot of email from sisters looking for mentors. We would love to be able to speak to each and every sister and have a chance to connect with them on a personal level. However due to location and the amount of sisters looking for mentors we would not be able to do it.
We think this would be great for new shahaadahs, younger sisters, sisters looking to learn more/strengthen their deen and have someone to be able to connect with. So insha' Allah if you are interested in being a mentor or you are seeking a mentor please send us an email at bigsisterprogram@muslimah2muslimah.com with the subject Big Sister Program for more info. Also be sure to let us know if you want to mentor or are looking for a mentor.
On Thursday, November 5th, 2009 a soldier at Fort Hood Military Base in Texas opened fire killing 12 people and wounding 30 others. The suspect in this case is Major Nidal Malik Hasan.
Hasan was reported to have been wearing his uniform when he opened fire, said Col. Steven Braverman, hospital commander at Fort Hood. Braverman said Hasan had received orders to deploy to Afghanistan.
The shooting occurred in a building called the readiness center, one of the last stops before soldiers deploy and one of the first places soldiers go upon returning to the United States.
Some of the victims were headed to Iraq or Afghanistan, said Col. Benton Danner.
A federal official said Hasan is a U.S. citizen of Jordanian descent. Military documents show Hasan was born in Virginia and has never deployed outside the United States. Read more of this story here.
As it has been reported, Major Hasan is an American-born Muslim who was born and raised here in the U.S. He apparently was being deployed to Iraq and he was trying to get out or the military because he did not believe in the war and he did not want to have to go to fight in Iraq or Afghanistan.
This made me think.... being a Muslim, I know that I would never be able to go to fight against my fellow Muslims either. To kill a Muslim is a grave sin in Islam. To kill innocent people is also a sin. What do you think about this tragic story? Do you think Major Hasan was taking a stand against fighting and killing more innocent Muslim families in Iraq? Do you think what he did was wrong? Did he have P.T.S.D. (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder)? Can you understand his reasoning behind this???
I wonder if he is single or is he married? Is he a match for me? Wouldn't we make such a dashing Muslim couple!?!?
This a dilemma many single Muslimahs have quite often. However, society tells us that the man should approach the woman, or in Islamic standards, the Wali. What about the Muslimahs who spot a brother she is interested in? Do they just sit back and pray that he makes the move?
During the days of the Prophet Muhammad (SAW), women approached men quite often for marriage. As a matter of fact, it is noted that when he was 25 years old, Muhammad (SAW)received a marriage proposal from a wealthy Meccan woman, Khadījah bint al-Khuwaylid, whose affairs he was conducting.
But nowadays it seems rather taboo for a sister to approach a brother regarding marriage. So, what is a sister to do???
What are YOUR opinions on this? Would you approach a brother you were interested in? If so, how would you go about doing it? Would you send your wali after him?
Okay, so this one is for all of us married girls out there... You and your hubby had *fun* last night and now it is time for Fajr prayer... So, you get up, take a shower, make wudu and make salat. Cool... all is well right? You have done your duties for your husband and your Lord... now you can go on about your day. Well, not so fast there, sister! Did you take a shower or did you make a ghusl? A ghusl is the purification that is obligatory after intercourse.
How Ghusl Is Performed:
According to the practice of the Prophet, upon whom be peace, the correct manner of performing ghusl is:
1. wash both hands three times,
2. wash the private parts,
3. make a complete wudu (ablution) like the one made for prayer.
4. rub water through one's hair three times, letting the water reach down to the roots of the hair, (yes, girls...this means ruining that perfect hairdo!)
5. pour water over the entire body, begining with the right side, then the left, washing under the armpits, inside the ears, inside the navel, inside the toes and whatever part of the body can be easily rubbed. This account is based on the following report from 'Aishah:
"When the Prophet, upon whom be peace, took his bath after sexual intercourse, he would begin by washing his hands. Then he would pour water from his right hand to his left and wash his sexual organs, make the ablution for prayer, take some water and put his fingers to the roots of his hair to the extent that he sees that the skin is wet, then pour water over his head three times and then over the rest of his body." -Related by al-Bukhari and Muslim.
Ghusl For Women:
A woman performs ghusl just as a man does, except that if she has plaited hair she does not have to undo it, provided that the water can reach the roots of her hair. Umm Salamah said,
"O Messenger of Allah, I am a woman who has closely plaited hair on my head. Do I have to undo them for ghusl after sexual intercourse?" He said, "No, it is enough for you to throw three handfuls of water on your head and then pour water over yourself. After doing this, you shall be cleansed." Related by Ahmad, Muslim and at-Tirmidhi
So, considering the fact that we all have to wash our hair COMPLETELY with water on "the early morning after", what should we, as Muslimahs do with our hair? Should we blow hundreds of dollars on our hair like many of us may have done during our single days just to ruin it the same night? Do we always have a low-maintenance (and less sexy) ponytail? Do we shave our heads? Anyhow, that is OUR rant for the day... What is YOUR ghusl rant?
In Muslimah2Muslimah's experience of reverts to Islam, we think the transitions of one's thoughts, opinions, and behavior, in fact a whole transformation of one's perspective in life is very interesting. The negative image presented about Islam since 9-11 here in the states has really given Islam a bad name due to the media as well as people's lack of understanding. The stereotypes about the treatment of women has been rampant in the media for many years with the Taliban and other "extremist" groups. We thought it would be interesting to interview Tahirah, who in the midst of all propaganda has warmly embraced Islam and get her Muslimah's Perspective on Islam...
Muslimah2Muslimah: What is your name?
Tahirah
Muslimah2Muslimah: What made you become interested in Islam?
Tahirah: I was a new patient at a local doctor's office. I noticed that the staff were women in Niqab and Hijab! I was in awe. The office was so peaceful, and the staff was completely friendly, warm, welcoming, and professional. I was at a place in my life where I was feeling isolated, depressed, and without hope. I say this sister's to say that, seeing the staff so proudly dressed in their traditional Muslim attire, immediately made me feel less anxiety about my visit. The actual doctor came to get me in full Burqa......she welcomed me and the first thing she said after reviewing my chart was, "how do you feel about Islam?" We spoke awhile, and she told me the most powerful and life changing information about Allah's love for me. Later in my session, she gave me the Shahaadah witnessed by 3 other nurses, and gave me the name Tahirah. My life was changed forever!
Muslimah2Muslimah: What does your family think about your decision?
Tahirah: My family has been very supportive of me, and see the change in my outlook on life. They support me 100%!
Muslimah2Muslimah: What types of reactions have you gotten from your friends or coworkers?
Tahirah: My company allows for me to work from home, so not many coworkers are aware of my conversion. The ones that I have an interpersonal relationship with, however seem to pass judgement slightly. My true friends love, respect, and applaud my decision.
Muslimah2Muslimah: How has Islam changed your life?
Tahirah: In a variety of ways. The initial feeling I had after my Shahaadah was one of purity and of peace. The feeling I feel every day is that of pride, enlightenment, and fulfillment. I know a peace and love that I never have. I see life and all things in it as a blessing from Allah, and the mercy he shows me everyday. How do you explain having a blind fold on for 38 years, and all of a sudden, the sunlight presented to you? "Allah is the Protector of those who have faith: from the depths of darkness He will lead them forth into light. Of those who reject faith the patrons are the Evil Ones: from light they will lead them forth into the depths of darkness. They will be companions of the fire to dwell therein (forever)." (Qur'an: Translation of the meaning, 2:257
Muslimah2Muslimah: What advice would you give to someone who is interested in Islam?
Tahirah: I would tell them any information, notions, or previous ideals they had about Islam, completely remove from your mind. The best thing to do is utilize your local Mosque for classes and study groups offered to new converts. The Internet has great information and websites for new converts or people interested in the faith as well.
Muslimah2Muslimah: Islamically, women are required to wear a hijab. Others say that you must also cover your face(niqab). What are your thoughts on this?
Tahirah: I love Niqab and feel that the element it provides is one of complete empowerment. Similarly love Hijab, and find it odd that people see it as a sign of oppression as opposed to complete freedom, pride, and empowerment. Inshallah, I would like to eventually wear Niqab.
Muslimah2Muslimah: How did you feel the first time you wore hijab?
Tahirah:Beautiful! A makeover that beautified my inner and outer self.
Muslimah2Muslimah: What is your opinion on the common labels associated with Muslims ("terrorists", "extremists" , etc.)?
Tahirah: Whenever one is uneducated in something, and that same source is in a position of conveying information to the masses, things get distorted. It is unfortunate that society has labeled the entire Islamic way of life as "extremists and terrorists." Nothing could be further from the truth.
Muslimah2Muslimah: What is your view on the impression that many non-Muslims have that Islam oppresses the women and the women have no voice in their communities?
Tahirah: I am new to Islam, and am getting exposure daily that Muslim women posses so much strength and resolve. There is this bond and sisterhood amongst Muslimahs that is like no other! Now could an oppressed individual be that powerful?
Muslimah2Muslimah: The media tends to give very negative views on women and many non-Muslims base their views solely on this. What was your view on Islam and the treatment of women before you converted to Islam?
Tahirah: Sadly, I was very misinformed and initially had similar views.
Muslimah2Muslimah: Has your view changed in any way?
Tahirah: I am happy to say that Muslimah 2 Muslimah was my first exposure to any kind of Muslimah values and culture directly after my Shahaadah, and I learned first and foremost how prideful and empowered Muslim women feel and are!
Muslimah2Muslimah: How have has Muslimah2Muslimah helped you along your journey to Islam?/ How have you benefited from Muslimah2Muslimah?
Tahirah: Where do I begin? :o) I learned how to properly wear Hijab, new information for newly converted Muslimahs, adorable modern Muslim fashion tips and style, values of the Muslim woman, and Muslim terms. Mashallah, I will continue to learn and embrace my new faith! Al Hamdu Lilah Wa Shukru Lillah ~Insha'allah, everyone... please pray for our new sister Tahirah and welcome her into Islam by leaving her your encouragement and wisdom, insha'allah! We are very pleased with her decision as we know she is as well. Tahirah, may Allah bless you and your family in all of your endeavors and may He grant you Jannatul Firdaus! Ameen!
*this blog is intended as a reminder to myself and insha' Allah to all who read it*
We only have one guarantee in life and that is DEATH! It may seem very blunt but it's very true. Many times we can be very short-sited, particularly as youth(teens-twenties). I have recently experienced a few deaths in my family, some very unexpected, and it has got me thinking. We don't know when are time is going to be up! All we can do is live each and every moment for the sake of Allah. We have to guard our actions, thoughts and words. We have to keep in mind that our most precious gift is our deen and that we will never be perfect, but we can strive for perfection. Many people don't even have Islam in their hearts and we do. We as Muslimahs should never ever take this for granted.
We've said this before and previous blogs but we have made many changes in our lives over the past couple of years. We would say to ourselves that eventually we would do better. Many times we say to ourselves "someday we will do this/that". Such as someday I will wear hijab, someday I will offer salah, someday I will make sunnah salah, someday I will learn more surahs, someday I will learn Arabic, someday I will stop backbiting, someday I will stop clubbin', someday I will be kinder, etc. This list could go on for ever and ever.
BUT THE QUESTION IS: WHAT IF SOMEDAY NEVER COMES?
This could be the very last blog that we post or even the very last blog you read because our time has come! So what do we do? We live each moment likes it's our last. By this we don't mean wild out and "get it in". We mean strive to do what is fisabilillah and "go hard in this deen". We only have one shot and our time here is soooooo short in comparison to the akhirah(afterlife). On the day of judgment we will stand alone and be held responsible for ALL of our actions; good and bad. We can't say "Sister So-and-So talked me into it or Sister So-and-So did it too." We know what we are supposed to do and what we are not supposed to do, we have no excuses! Ignorance is no excuse we should be consistently learning from the cradle to the grave. If we are unsure about something, we should look it up and try to make sure that we are doing what is correct.
We still have many goals that insha' Allah we will be able to achieve but we will sincerely try every single day, hour and minute to do better. May Allah guide us all on al siratul mustaqeem- Ameen.
We must remember Inna lillaai wa inna ilayhi raji'oon(from him we came and to him we will return)
We kept this one short because we will be posting a more detailed video about this topic on YouTube in our next installment so insha' Allah subscribe(click the yellow button) if you haven't already. Here is the link for our YouTube. http://www.youtube.com/user/muslimah2muslimah
We have been to many Islamic weddings and we have seen many different themes. We see the bride dressed in Indian dresses, traditional white gowns, Abayas, African gowns, some with the woman absent for the nikah (ceremony) and present for the walimah (reception/ marriage feast). The groom usually goes with the flow of the theme: tuxedo and tie for the traditional western theme, kurta suits for the Indian theme, Grande Buba for the African theme, and a thobe for the low-key Islamic theme.
Okay, so the question is; Which way is the Islamic way and how much time, energy and money should we put into our weddings? Should we have bridesmaids? Should we have groomsmen? Should we have a first dance and music? Should we provide alcohol for our non-Muslim guests? Should my dowry be big or small?
The Arabic word Walima (marriage feast) is derived from the root word Walam, which literally means to gather and assemble. The Arabs used it for a meal or feast where people were invited and gathered. Later, the term became exclusive for the wedding banquet.
The Arabs used different terms for the various feasts they enjoyed. For example: al-I’zar on the occasion of a child’s circumcision, al-Khurs for a marriage not ending in divorce, al-Wakira on building a new home, al-Naqi’ah when a traveller returns home, al-Aqiqah on the seventh day after childbirth, al-Ma’duba for a general meal without any specific reason, etc.
The marriage feast (walima) is a Sunna of our beloved Prophet Muhammad (Allah bless him & give him peace). It is an outward expression of gratitude and pleasure and a great means of publicising the marriage, which has been greatly encouraged.
Sayyiduna Anas ibn Malik (Allah be pleased with him) narrates that the Prophet Muhammad(Allah bless him & give him peace) saw a yellow mark on Abdur Rahman ibn Awf (Allah be pleased with) and said: “What’s this?” He replied: “I have married a woman with the dowry being gold to the weight of a date-stone.” The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) said: “May Allah bless you (in your marriage), perform a Walima, even if it is only with a goat.” (Sahih al-Bukhari,no. 4872)
The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) himself provided a Walima after many of his marriages. He provided meat and bread on the occasion of his marriage with Zaynab bint Jahsh (Allah be pleased with her), Hays (a type of sweet-dish cooked with dates, cheese & butter) on the occasion of his marriage with Safiyya (Allah be pleased with her) and barley on another occasion. (See: Sahih al-Bukhari & Sahih Muslim)
Thus, it is a Sunna and strongly recommended to have a Walima.
The Time of Walima:
The scholars have disagreed as to the correct time of this Walima. There are many opinions. For example:
1) At the time of the marriage contract,
2) After the marriage contract and before consummation of marriage,
3) At the time of the wedding procession (bride leaving for her husband’s house) (Ibn Hajar, Fath al-Bari, 9/287)
However, the majority of the scholars (jumhur) are of the opinion that Walima is a meal that is prepared after the marriage has been consummated. This was the practice of the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace), as explicitly mentioned in one narration.
Sayyiduna Anas ibn Malik (Allah be pleased with him) narrates that he was a boy of ten when the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) migrated to Madina. (He added): “My mother and aunts used to urge me to serve the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) regularly, thus I served him for ten years. When the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) passed away, I was twenty years old, and I knew about the order of Hijab more than anyone else, when it was revealed. It was revealed for the first time when the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) had consummated his marriage with Zainab bint Jahsh (Allah be pleased with her). The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) in the morning was a bridegroom, and he invited the people to a banquet. So they came, ate, and then all left except a few who remained with the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) for a long time….. (Sahih al-Bukhari, no. 4871)
Sayyiduna Anas (Allah be pleased with him) said: “The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) consummated his marriage with a woman (Zainab), so he sent me to invite people for a meal.” (Sahih al-Bukhari, no. 4875)
The great Hadith master (hafidh), Ibn Hajar al-Asqalani (Allah have mercy on him) states:
“The Hadith of Anas (quoted above) is clear in determining that Walima is considered to be after the consummation of marriage.” (Fath al-Bari, 9/199. Also see: I’la al-Sunan, vol. 10, p. 11)
It is stated in al-Fatawa al-Hindiyya:
“The marriage banquet (walima) is a Sunna and there is great reward in it. And it is carried out when the marriage is consummated.” (al-Fatawa al-Hindiyya, 5/343)
Having said this, scholars mention that there is also scope in following the other opinions, thus if one had a Walima before consummation, it is hoped that one will gain the reward of Sunna.
How many days? The Hanafi jurists (fuqaha) are of the opinion that, a banquet up to two days will be considered to be a Walima, after which it will no longer be considered a Walima.
It is stated in al-Fatawa al-Hindiyya:
“There is nothing wrong in inviting people the next day after consummation or the day after. After that, marriage and Walima celebrations will come to an end.” (5/343)
It has also been reported from the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) that he stated: “Walima on the first day is confirmed (haq), and on the second day, it is good (ma’ruf), and on the third day, it is showing off.” (Sunan Abu Dawud, no. 3738)
Although scholars mention that if there is a need, such as not being able to invite everybody on one day, then it will not be wrong to invite them on separate days.
Simplicity:
Finally, it should be remembered that, the simpler the Walima (and the marriage ceremony as a whole) is kept, the better it will be. At times, people spend thousands upon thousands in feeding people, a sum which can be used for other indispensable needs of the Muslims. And if the intention behind spending such an amount is to show-off, then this will be regarded a grave sin.
The idea here is to feed people with sincerity and simplicity. If one feeds people the simplest of meals but from the heart, then that is far better (and the food is also more enjoyable) than feeding them quality food, where the intention is not so sincere.
Sayyida A’isha (Allah be pleased with her) narrates that the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) said: “The most blessed marriage (nikah) is the one with the least expenses.” (al-Bayhaqi in his Shu’ab al-Iman & Mishkat al-Masabih).
Excerpts taken from: Muhammad ibn Adam al-Kawthari Darul Iftaa
In Muslimah2Muslimah's experience of reverts to Islam, we think the transitions of one's thoughts, opinions, and behavior, in fact a whole transformation of one's perspective in life is very interesting. Eva is far from the ordinary….she exemplifies how thinking can take someone a long way. It's amazing how far a little common sense and knowledge can go. Eva is one our YouTube subscribers who became a Muslimah on of all days, Easter Sunday, masha'Allah!
The negative image presented about Islam since 9-11 here in the states has really given Islam a bad name due to the media as well as people's lack of understanding. The stereotypes about the treatment of women has been rampant in the media for many years with the Taliban and other "extremist" groups. We thought it would be interesting to interview Eva, who in the midst of all propaganda has warmly embraced Islam and get her Muslimah's Perspective on Islam...
Muslimah2Muslimah: What is your name?
Eva: Evangeline meaning "good news"
Muslimah2Muslimah: What made you become interested in Islam?
Eva: I was really doing a lot of reading and researching about myself as an African woman, and the history of our people. I began researching history and culture and various traditions, holidays, and the symbolism of many things. And the more I learned, the more I realized that in the western world we have been taught a very self-destructive way of life mentally, physically, and spiritually. In reading and exploring new things, I came across Islam and what it taught. I realized that it mainly fell in line with the positive changes I was making in my life. After I saw the connection several times, I started to research it, and found peace in it.
Muslimah2Muslimah: What does your family think about your decision?
Eva: My mom is very supportive. She trusted my judgment because she knows I researched it thoroughly first. She didn't know much about it and was just interested in learning more. I haven't had any negative reactions yet, but I have a really big family so we shall see what happens! I am most nervous about telling my Grandmother, she can be judgmental at times, and make hurtful jokes or comments about things she doesn't approve of. Inshallah she will be understanding, and open minded, I will tell her when I see her around Mother's Day.
Muslimah2Muslimah: What types of reactions have you gotten from your friends or coworkers?
Eva: The total opposite of what I expected! There are a few older Caucasian ladies there, who I have heard make some very ignorant (racist) comments, so I was expecting to have to politely tell them off, if they were disrespectful. But they actually came to me basically telling me how ignorant they were about Islam, and that they wanted to know more. This became a dawa opportunity. Also one of them brought me a beautiful Qur'an! Inshallah, I will be a positive influence on their ideas about Islam.
Muslimah2Muslimah: How has Islam changed your life?
Eva: Before Islam, I was unsatisfied in life. I was going through some things that left me really unhappy. In turn I was seeking happiness from external sources, drinking, smoking, getting piercings, tattoos. It was like I was trying to drown out a voice that was telling me I wasn't happy. It gave me momentary satisfaction, but no real peace of mind. Islam gave me that peace of mind. It made it easier for me knowing I am living my life to attain an ultimate goal, so everything I say and do has a purpose.
Muslimah2Muslimah: What advice would you give to someone who is interested in Islam?
Eva: Don't be afraid. It can be scary to change your life, but when you put your faith in Allah, he will make it easy for you. Do your research, examine things with an open mind and heart.
Muslimah2Muslimah: Islamically, women are required to wear a hijab. Others say that you must also cover your face(niqab). What are your thoughts on this?
Eva: I understand the purpose of hijab. I like the level of respect I get when I wear it, there is definitely a difference, I also like that other Muslims can identify me. Niqab, I don't think is required. But I can understand the mindstate of someone who wants to go even further to protect their modesty. Its about the state of mind and your intentions.
Muslimah2Muslimah: What is your opinion on the common labels associated with Muslims ("terrorists", "extremists" , etc.)?
Eva: I look at it like this. Charles Manson believed he was Jesus and was killing people so thy could go to Heaven. Not a single person blamed Christianity for this. But when someone claims to be a Muslim and does a horrible act, the first thing they talk about is Islam. I think its not only racist, based on the fact that this religion is typically represented as one of people of color (although there are Muslims of all races alhumdulilah!) , but there is an illogical untruthful propaganda campaign against Islam in the west.
Muslimah2Muslimah: What is your view on the impression that many non-Muslims have that Islam oppresses the women and the women have no voice in their communities?
Eva: There are many places that identify as Muslim countries, and some of them do treat women unjustly. But this behavior is unlawful in Islam, the Qur'an dictates that not only are Muslim women to be treated equally, but many practices are in place solely for their benefit and protection.
Muslimah2Muslimah: The media tends to give very negative views on women and many non-Muslims base their views solely on this. What was your view on Islam and the treatment of women before you converted to Islam?
Eva: I only had one girl friend in high school who was Muslim. She is smart, funny, and has a great personality. So that made me realize that she wasn't that different than me or anyone else. I always thought she was really pretty too, but always dressed modestly, no make up, and I wondered why she wouldn't want to show off her beauty.
Muslimah2Muslimah: Has your view changed in any way?
Eva: Yeah because I understand that as a Muslima you don't lose your femininity, you can still be beautiful. There are just different guidelines. I have had a lot of fun shopping for appropriate hijab clothes. Its like a fun challenge to put together a look that's cute, expresses who you are, and is modest.
Muslimah2Muslimah: How did you feel the first time you wore hijab?
Eva: Nervous, really nervous at first. I was scared I would be treated differently. But all that subsided when I realized that different was good, and I got more respect this way, and plenty of respectful compliments. A few days ago it was 92 degrees, and I had on hijab, loose linen pants, and a long light cotton shirt. I noticed there were a lot of girls wearing very little walking by an older man who was giving them lewd looks, he didn't even look at me. I smiled inside because that's not the kind of attention I want.
~Insha'allah, everyone... please pray for Sister Eva and welcome her into Islam by leaving her your encouragement and wisdom, insha'allah! We are very pleased with her decision as we know she is as well. Eva, may Allah bless you in all of your endeavors and may He grant you Jannatul Firdaus! Ameen!
TWO years ago, Sheik Adil Kalbani dreamed that he had become an imam at the Grand Mosque in Mecca, Islam’s holiest city.
Waking up, he dismissed the dream as a temptation to vanity. Although he is known for his fine voice, Sheik Adil is black, and the son of a poor immigrant from the Persian Gulf. Leading prayers at the Grand Mosque is an extraordinary honor, usually reserved for pure-blooded Arabs from the Saudi heartland.
So he was taken aback when the phone rang last September and a voice told him that King Abdullah had chosen him as the first black man to lead prayers in Mecca. Days later Sheik Adil’s unmistakably African features and his deep baritone voice, echoing musically through the Grand Mosque, were broadcast by satellite TV to hundreds of millions of Muslims around the world.
Since then, Sheik Adil has been half-jokingly dubbed the “Saudi Obama.” Prominent imams are celebrities in this deeply religious country, and many have hailed his selection as more evidence of King Abdullah’s cautious efforts to move Saudi Arabia toward greater openness and tolerance in the past few years.
“The king is trying to tell everybody that he wants to rule this land as one nation, with no racism and no segregation,” said Sheik Adil, a heavyset and long-bearded man of 49 who has been an imam at a Riyadh mosque for 20 years. “Any qualified individual, no matter what his color, no matter where from, will have a chance to be a leader, for his good and his country’s good.”
Officially, it was his skill at reciting the Koran that won him the position, which he carries out — like the Grand Mosque’s eight other prayer leaders — only during the holy month of Ramadan. But the racial significance of the king’s gesture was unmistakable.
Sheik Adil, like most Saudis, is quick to caution that any racism here is not the fault of Islam, which preaches egalitarianism. The Prophet Muhammad himself, who founded the religion here 1,400 years ago, had black companions.
“Our Islamic history has so many famous black people,” said the imam, as he sat leaning his arm on a cushion in the reception room of his home. “It is not like the West.”
It is also true that Saudi Arabia is far more ethnically diverse than most Westerners realize. Saudis with Malaysian or African features are a common sight along the kingdom’s west coast, the descendants of pilgrims who came here over the centuries and ended up staying. Many have prospered and even attained high positions through links to the royal family. Bandar bin Sultan, the former Saudi ambassador to the United States, is the son of Prince Sultan and a dark-skinned concubine from southern Saudi Arabia.
But slavery was practiced here too, and was abolished only in 1962. Many traditional Arabs from Nejd, the central Saudi heartland, used to refer to all outsiders as “tarsh al bahr” — vomit from the sea. People of African descent still face some discrimination, as do most immigrants, even from other Arab countries. Many Saudis complain that the kingdom is still far too dominated by Nejd, the homeland of the royal family. There are nonracial forms of discrimination too, and many Shiite Muslims, a substantial minority, say they are not treated fairly.
“The prophet told us that social classes will remain, because of human nature,” Sheik Adil said gravely. “These are part of the pre-Islamic practices that persist.”
BLACK skin is not the only social obstacle Sheik Adil has overcome. His father came to Saudi Arabia in the 1950s from Ras al Khaima, in what is now the United Arab Emirates, and obtained a job as a low-level government clerk. The family had little money, and after finishing high school, Adil took a job with Saudi Arabian Airlines while attending night classes at King Saud University.
Only later did he study religion, laboriously memorizing the Koran and studying Islamic jurisprudence. In 1984 he passed the government exam to become an imam, and worked briefly at the mosque in the Riyadh airport. Four years later he won a more prominent position as the imam of the King Khalid mosque, a tall white building that is not far from one of the Intelligence Ministry’s offices.
Theologically, Sheik Adil reflects the general evolution of Saudi thinking over the last two decades. During the 1980s he met Osama bin Laden and Abdullah Azzam, a leader of the jihad against the Soviets in Afghanistan. He initially sympathized with their radical position and anger toward the West. Later, he said, he began to find their views narrow, especially after the terrorist attacks of Sept. 11, 2001.
Now he speaks warmly of King Abdullah’s new initiatives, which include efforts to moderate the power of the hard-line religious establishment and to modernize Saudi Arabia’s judiciary and educational establishment. He reads Al Watan, a liberal newspaper.
“Some people in this country want everyone to be a carbon copy,” Sheik Adil said. “This is not my way of thinking. You can learn from the person who is willing to criticize, to give a different point of view.”
His life, like that of most imams, follows a rigid routine: he leads prayers five times a day at the mosque, then walks across the parking lot to his home, which he shares with two wives and 12 children. On Fridays, he gives a sermon as well.
HE expected it to continue that way for the rest of his life. Then in early September he woke up to hear his cellphone and land line, both ringing continuously. Stirring from bed, he heard the administrator of the Grand Mosque leaving a message. He picked up one of the phones, and heard the news that the king had selected him.
Two days later he walked into a grand reception room where he was greeted by Prince Khalid al-Faisal, the governor of Mecca Province. Sheik Adil tried to introduce himself, but the prince cut him off with a smile: “You are known,” he said.
Next, Sheik Adil was led to a table where he sat with King Abdullah and other ministers. He was too shy to address the king directly, but as he left the room he thanked him and kissed him on the nose, a traditional sign of deference.
Remembering the moment, Sheik Adil smiled and went silent. Then he pulled out his laptop and showed a visitor a YouTube clip of him reciting the Koran at the Grand Mosque in Mecca.
“To recite before thousands of people, this is no problem for me,” he said. “But the place, its holiness, is so different from praying anywhere else. In that shrine, there are kings, presidents and ordinary people, all being led in prayer by you as imam. It gives you a feeling of honor, and a fear of almighty God.”
Dating in Islam is an oxymoron, there is no such thing! It's like saying frozen hot chocolate. There are no boyfriends or girlfriends as far as Islam is concerned. This doesn't mean that it doesn't happen this just means that it shouldn't. So I know your like, if I can't date him how do I really get to know the brother that I want to marry?
Well I'm glad you asked, alhumdulilah Allah(swt) has given us guidelines to follow so that we can keep everything on a lawful note. So first things first make sure that you have your standards and know what you are willing to except in your mind first. If you meet a brother and he asks you for YOUR number, he might not be the brother for you. You want a brother who wants to do things the right way and has enough respect for you and himself from jump that he wouldn't even try you like that. It seems simple an innocent, just a phone conversation but even a conversation can lead you into things that you shouldn't do. You talk to the brother, you crack jokes, you start to feel comfortable with him and then he says "why don't we hang out and meet up sometime?". Now this can lead up to you spending time alone with him. If a brother is trying to spend time alone you, it's not a good look.
Whenever a man is alone with a women the shaytan makes the third. (Tirmidhi)
A Muslim man is still a man and eventually you may end up doing things that you know you shouldn't. Avoid this situation and you won't be tempted or end up making a decision that you regret. This is why you should have your Wali in place. Your Wali truly is your protection. If your a revert like me, your Wali can be your Imam or trusted brother in your community. He keeps that brother in line and makes sure that everything is done on the up and up.Not only that but we are women and once you start to like a brother you might catch feelings and not notice some of the red flags. Your Wali is looking out for your best interest and is not going to be blinded by how cute the brother is.
You can have a "sit down" with a brother with you Wali present and ask all of the very important questions(we posted a blog with plenty of questions to ask and questions that you should be prepared to answer). When you are asking these question make sure that you are being honest. This is your way of getting to know each other. Don't just say what you think the brother wants to hear. If he asks you if you can cook, don't say yes if can't even boil water! When you get married he's going to expect you to follow through on what you said. Don't say you wear overgarment and niqab if you don't because he's gonna want to know where all that is when you leave the house without hijab. Be honest so that both know what you are signing up for because once your married you have both signed on that dotted line.
Now if you want to have the "dating" experience you can out as long as you are chaperoned. This means you have your Wali present or someone who is looking out for your best interest. Maybe you feel uncomfortable going out with your father present, you could have another married couple, your brother, etc. chaperon your "date". What you shouldn't do is go out with your homegirl and her boyfriend and call them your chaperons. If they're not doing what they are supposed to be doing, how are they going to make sure that you are? Consider going to public places like restaurants, art exhibits, parks, places where you know other Muslims will be, etc.
We have to make sure that we think long term, dating is what we see everyday around us and it can be tempting. But in the long run you want to make sure you are doing things that are beneficial to you in this life and in the hereafter. The blessings that you will receive, inshallah, from doing things the right way will be well worth the wait.
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This is a list of questions to ask your future spouse, you can pick and choose or ask them all. Also be prepared to answer many of these questions yourself. The most important thing is to be HONEST with yourself and with the brother, so that you both know what your getting into. Don't say yes of course I wear hijab if you don't because he's going to be looking at you crazy if your Not wearing it. KEEP IT 100%!!!!!!!
What are you expectations of marriage? What are your goals in life? (long and short term) Identify three things that you want to accomplish in the near future. Identify three things that you want to accomplish, long term. Why have you chosen me/other person as a potential spouse? What is the role of religion in your life now? Are you a spiritual person? What is your understanding of an Islamic marriage? What are you expecting of your spouse, religiously? What is your relationship between yourself and the Muslims community in your area? Are you volunteering in any Islamic activities? What can you offer your zawj (spouse), spiritually? What is the role of the husband? What is the role of the wife? Do you want to practice polygamy? What is your relationship with your family? What do you expect your relationship with the family of your spouse to be? What do you expect your spouses relationship with your family to be? Is there anyone in your family living with you now? Are you planning to have anyone in your family live with you in the future? If, for any reason, my relationship with your family turns sour, what should be done? Who are your friends? (Identify at least three.) How did you get to know them? Why are they your friends? What do you like most about them? What will your relationship with them after marriage be? Do you have friends of the opposite sex? What is the level of your relationship with them now? What will be the level of your relationship with them after marriage? What type of relationship do you want your spouse to have with your friends? What are the things that you do in your free time? Do you love to have guests in your home for entertainment? What are you expecting from your spouse when your friends come to the house? What is your opinion of speaking other languages in home that I do not understand? (with friends or family) Do you travel? How do you spend your vacations? How do you think your spouse should spend vacations? Do you read? What do you read? After marriage, do you think that you are one to express romantic feelings verbally? After marriage, do you think that you want to express affection in public? How do you express your admiration for someone that you know now? How do you express your feelings to someone who has done a favor for you? Do you like to write your feelings? If you wrong someone, how do you apologize? If someone has wronged you, how do you want (s)he to apologize to you? How much time passes before you can forgive someone? How do you make important and less important decisions in your life? Do you use foul language at home? In public? With family? Do your friends use foul language? Does your family use foul language? How do you express anger? How do you expect your spouse to express anger? What do you do when you are angry? When do you think it is appropriate to initiate mediation in marriage? When there is a dispute in your marriage, religious or otherwise, how should the conflict get resolved? Define mental, verbal, emotional and physical abuse. What would you do if you felt that you had been abused? Who would you call for assistance if you were being abused? Do you suffer from any chronic disease or condition? Are you willing to take a physical exam by a physician before marriage? What is your understanding of proper health and nutrition? How do you support your own health and nutrition? What is you definition of wealth? How do you spend money? How do you save money? How do you think that your use of money will change after marriage? Do you have any debts now? If so, how are you making progress to eliminate them? Do you use credit cards? Do you support the idea of taking loans to buy a new home? What are you expecting from your spouse financially? What is your financial responsibility in the marriage? Do you support the idea of a working wife? If so, how do you think a dual-income family should manage funds? Do you currently use a budget to manage your finances? Who are the people to whom you are financially responsible? Do you support the idea of utilizing baby sitters and/or maids? Do you want to have children? If not, how come? To the best of your understanding, are you able to have children? Do you want to have children in the first two years of marriage? If not, when? Do you believe in abortion? Do you have children now? What is your relationship with your children now? What is your relationship with their other parent? What relationship do you expect your spouse to have with your children and their parent? What is the best method(s) of raising children? What is the best method(s) of disciplining children? How were you raised? How were you disciplined? Do you believe in spanking children? Under what circumstances? Do you believe in public school for your children? Do you believe in Islamic school for your children? Do you believe in home schooling for your children? What type of relationship should your children have with non-Muslim classmates/friends? Would you send your children to visit their extended family if they lived in another state or country? What type of relationship do you want your children to have with all their grandparents? If there are members of my family that are not Muslim, that are of different race or culture, what type of relationship do you want to have with them?
This subject has been on my mind a lot lately. Inshallah this will be very brief and just a few of my thoughts. I'm not going to get into whether or not music is haraam. There are plenty of different viewpoints on that: it's haraam, its halal if its only drums, is it cool if it's Islamic i.e. nasheed or groups like Native Deen.
A little background on my history with music. Okay so music has always been a big part of me and my life. My parents were big jazz fans and my name(real name) was inspired by Billie Holiday. Music has always had a deep emotional connection with me whether it's joy, sadness, anger etc. I have listened to ALL genres of music: classical, metal, pop, hip hop and jazz to name a few. I moved to Atlanta and was exposed to a whole new type of music that at first I was like this music is crazy and then later grew on me. Recently I have relocated to the sticks and music is just not that big a part of my life anymore. I don't watch the shows like TRL and 106th and park anymore, maybe because I'm older now and just can't get into or maybe because my mind state has just changed. I hardly listen to music anymore and if I do it's only in the car. I find that when I hear songs now I have no idea who the artist is and when I hear songs I used to listen to the connection is no longer there.
So I say all this to say that I've noticed that since I'm not listening to music as much I find myself listening to more quran and lectures online. Instead of looking up different artist on YouTube I'm looking up subjects like hijab, marriage, salah, surahs, etc. When I think about the number of lyrics that have been committed to my memory over the years its crazy to me! If I knew as many lyrics as surahs and ayas I could probably be hafiz by now. I view MOST music as a distraction from the siratal mustaqeem be it subtle or in your face. Look at the song titles that our out: I kissed a girl, My girl got a girlfriend, Juicebox, I'm in love with a stripper, Ms. independent and many more. Then to go along with the songs we have music videos which have a strong effect on how young women view themselves particularly in hop hop and pop. Many studies have been done on the negative effects of music videos and how they shape young girls self images.
So I'm not judging or saying stop listening to it now! I'm just saying if you listen to music(myself included) think about the effects mainstream music has and how much space it takes up in our minds that could be filled with Quran, ahadith, knowledge, etc.
Jenna Evans is competing in a video essay competition called whoinspiresu.ca. The grand prize is $10,000 and she plans to use the money to put on an empowerment convention for young women in Canada.
Spread the word and vote daily until March 31. Let's help empower other girls and show off the Muslimah spirit! If we don't help and support each other, who will?
As muslimahs in the West, some of us are stuck between two worlds, in a sense. We live in a predominantly non-muslim society that enjoys many of the things which are forbidden in Islam. Dating, partying, drinking, doing drugs, fornication, skimpy clothing, explicit lyrics in music, cursing and overall bad behavior has become the norm here in the west. Those of us who were raised in an Islamic household find ourselves loving our religion and knowing the truth, yet reverting to and enjoying the easy, fast life in the West. Those of us who are converts to Islam may find the transition difficult at first and difficult to maintain.
As muslim girls and women, we have even greater expectations then our male counterparts to be the consummate muslim woman in every facet of the word. Meaning we are expected to look, smell, and in some instances even sound like the perfect muslim woman. What I mean by looking like is, of course, the Islamic dress. By smell, I mean some people saying that muslimahs are not allowed to wear perfumes. By sound I am talking about some people's perspective on whether or not a woman should speak quietly or even disguise their voices around men.
When we put all of these things in mind, we now have a woman who has the knowledge of how she should behave in society and how she may desire to behave. Some feel as though as long as they are wearing their khimars that they should be able to go anywhere they please. Also, they feel as though they can date as long as there is no fornication involved and wear wigs on their heads as long as their heads are covered. The prophet(saw) said:
"Allah (swt) has cursed both the Wasilah and the Mustawsilah (meaning the wig-wearer and the wig-maker.
So " covering" your hair with a wig is not an option. Wearing your khimar is not only a source of protection it is also a constant reminder. If you are considering going somewhere are being around people were you can't wear your khimar because it wouldn't be appropriate, then these are the places and people you should avoid.
It's important that we try our best not to get caught up in the dunya. While the clubs and partying may seem tempting, they ultimately lead us further and further away from Allah(swt). Our time in this world is very limited and we will be faced with many tests. The pleasures of the dunya will be very tempting because of the way our society portrays them. In television shows, commercials and magazines these short term pleasures are portrayed as glamorous and the women leading these lives seem happy. This sort of lifestyle will not provide you lasting rewards. Shaytan tempts us with this lifestyle and Allah(swt) has warned us:
" Follow not the footsteps of Shaytan. Verily! He is to you a plain enemy" in Surah 2:208.
Consider options available to you such as hanging out with your girlfriends, going to the movies, going out to eat and attending Islamic functions. There are many outlets for what we may call "halal socializing" which can be found through the Muslim Student Association http://www.msanational.org/ at your local college or university. Also, there is the Islamic Circle Of North America http://www.icna.org/ and The Islamic Society of North America (I.S.N.A.) http://www.isna.net/. Many of our local masjids have plenty of activities for young muslims. Try to be more involved with masjids in your area. This is a great way to meet new muslims in your age range with similar interests. In my opinion I find it is best to socialize with other muslims as opposed to non-muslims for the simple reason that you won't be as tempted to do un-islamic things when you are with muslim peers. In the Qur'an it states:
"O you who believe! Do not take for intimate friends from among others than your own people, they do not fall short of inflicting loss upon you; they love what distresses you; vehement hatred has already appeared from out of their mouths, and what their breasts conceal is greater still; indeed, We have made the communications clear to you, if you will understand." Surah 3:118
Once again sisters, Allah knows best and if we make a sincere effort to follow by the examples of the Sahabiah (rah), He will be pleased with us, inshallah.
Asalaamu alaikum
Najwa & Nadira
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Here in America, life is centered aroundChristianity and does not cater to the muslimah. Unlike in many Islamic countries, there are no azaans being heard or businesses closing for prayer. There is no constant reminder of Islam around us so we have to remind ourselves. Some muslimahs may find it difficult to continue their every day work, school and/or house duties and still be able to make all five prayers with the focus and diligence that is necessary for it to actually be accepted by Allah (swt). Some of us may also feel ashamed or frightened to be seen making salat because if the stigmas that America has on Muslim women. Here are at Muslimah2Muslimah, we feel as though we must take a stand on how we are viewed in today's society. Prayer is one of the five pillars of Islam and it plays a very important role in our lives as Muslim women.
When your are at work or school it may be hard to make your prayer on time with so much going on. Try to make sure that your every day dress is what you can pray in and that will make it easier for you. If you are a non hijabi, we encourage to you to cover, however if you are not there yet keep a scarf or a prayer garment on you. Sometimes it can also be hard to find a suitable place to offer your prayer. Some schools have set up prayer rooms but most likely your school or place of work does not have a space set aside for that. Allah is merciful and we have options available to us, you can find a secluded space or even offer your salat while you are seated. So whether you are in your car or in chair at work you can still try to locate the directions of the Kiblah, make your intentions and offer prayer.
Praying towards the Kiblah is an important practice when making salat. One method is to see where the sun comes from and goes down. This is sometimes quite difficult to find direction where there is a thick cloud cover or sun is at its zenith. Even if one finds out where sun comes out, it still poses some difficulty because the sun does not come out from east in all locations.Another idea is to find out the time at which your shadow points to Kiblah. There is a time in the day during which facing to sun or your shadow can get the exact direction of Kiblah. However, I am not an expert of this method or how to use it, so I am unable to give you any advice on it. The most practical, and fashionable way for a "HijabiRecessionista" to do this is to purchase a key chain compass. These can be found at almadinatrader for just $5.00! http://almadinatrader.com/index.php?main_page=index&cPath=3
The Messenger of Allah (saw) has said:
“Prayer is the pillar of your religion and one who intentionally forsakes his prayer has destroyed his religion. And one who does not guard the times of the prayers, shall be made to enter ‘Wayl’, which is a valley in Hell, as Allah, the Exalted, has said: “So woe to the praying ones, who are unmindful of their prayers.” - Sahih Al-Bukhari
Just this quote from our beloved Prophet (saw) shows the extreme importance that prayer has on us all. Insha'allah Allah (swt) knows our intentions and if we make a sincere effort in this regard and pray for his forgiveness when we fall astray then we will be safe from his wrath. Ameen! Now, speaking from a personal experience of my own, as of last year I have begun to be steadfast in making all five of my prayers on time. Once I started this habit, I have been so much more in peace within myself and I find myself making better decisions. Insha'Allah, we are all striving for the Jannah and we all make mistakes unintententionally. Once we undersand how, as women, our actions reflect on all of Islamic society because we are the ones raising the children. If we become better role models for our children and younger brothers, sisters, nieces, nephews and peers by showing them the ways of Islam, Insha'Allah this will help to build our Ummah. Now I'm getting off of the subject... we can delve deeper into this on another post, insha'Allah.
These are the opinions of M2M, but we would love your feedback! Let us know your struggles and how you deal with being diligent with your salat.
